Thursday, November 20, 2014

Holiday Eating Tips...#1

Make the calories count! It is hard to eat "healthy" around the holidays... so eat smart!


First tip ***Don't eat it unless it is worth it.

Store bought (fill in blank)- Not worth it.
Grandma's oatmeal fudge- Worth it.


Don't deprive yourself of the special treats that you only get once a year. Those don't come around very often and is a real treat. I am not saying go all out and eat an entire cake, but indulge in a slice. If it makes you smile... go for it.

Store bought rolls, desserts and salads? Leave it on the table. Things that you can/do eat all year round aren't worth the extra calories for the day.


That is the first of many tips to get through the holidays w/o gaining! Stay tuned for the next one :)



Monday, November 3, 2014

My Doctor Says: Just Chill.

Just chill... that is not something one usually hears from their doctor. However, that is the answer I got when I expressed my frustration over being stuck in this plateau for well over a year. She basically said that my body is happy, but don't give up. Just trying to live as healthy as I can is the only way the last of this weight will fall off.

In saying that... let me catch you all up on the last few weeks!


The half marathon was  a few weekends ago. I had a LOT of fun and did pretty well. It was a very strange feeling at the starting line... I was calm. (I know right?) You usually don't hear that from me. I had come to terms that this was a fun run and the only goal I had was to finish it.


I know I didn't train very well. To be honest I wasn't 100% into it bc it is really hard on my body and didn't take a huge break between the last one. The heat, the vomiting... I can give a ton of excuses of why I shouldn't have been ready, but I was. I was ready bc I was finally ready to just have fun.


I finished in about 3 hours and had a fabulous time. I was bummed though that they ran out of beer at the finish line... really?! :)







       


I am still holding strong with the weight loss and haven't gained anything lately. I am OKAY with that. Not thrilled, but am going to stay "chill" like my doctor says. Now that the half marathon is over with, I am ready to have a healthy relaxing winter. No stressing about getting my distance run in at the track, feeling like crap after and not having a very flexible schedule. I see a winter filled with running on a treadmill for 3-5 miles, weight lifting and for sure some HOT YOGA (ow!ow!). Now that sounds like a nice relaxing winter.

I have been trying a few new recipes lately and hopefully will get my favorites posted. There is nothing I like better than finding a tasty healthy alternative way of making things. My boyfriend would agree because I try these out on him so he gets a lot of good home cooked meals when he is home :)

One thing I am really looking forward to though is the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving! It is an awesome tradition that I have with my friends. I don't visit family for this holiday and I usually spend it with my friends... running 5 miles! This will be the 3rd year and am already excited for those bloody Mary's after!

One last thought...

I saw this post below on one of my favorite Facebook pages (I <3 to run, check it out!) It made me really think about some of the conversations I have had in the past year or so. I feel a little that some forget where I started out. I have actually been told "you don't know how hard it is." when having a conversation with someone that wants to make healthy changes. (WTH?!) For the most part I listen and be supportive. Hey, I HAVE been there and I know the frustration one feels when trying to start this journey. But there is only so much I can do and say to help until all we are doing is talking in circles. I do remember how hard it was and all the excuses I fed myself too. Until I got rid of all the bullshit that I was feeding myself... I wasn't going anywhere. It took weighing over 300 lbs for me to finally get it. I did it for me and I hope that others will do it for themselves too.

The post below is a little harsh, but it is what it is. Everyone has it in them to make their start. What will make or break you is how bad you want it and how hard you want to work for it.
No. More. Excuses.


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

I Am Not Cut Out For This...

I am declaring it now... This WILL be my last half marathon for a while. I need a break from the training and give my body a rest from running miles and miles. I got sick again tonight about mile 6. Barely ran 8 miles in 2 hours... I am in big trouble for next weekend. I am in the mind set now... I just want to run to come so I can get it over with. It can make running not fun for me and I don't want that! It is my stress reliever and shouldn't be causing me more stress.


I am not cut out to continuously run distance. My stomach is the main concern. I should not be used to throwing up after ever distance run. That isn't fun! I will be happy with 3-5 miles. That is plenty for my short little legs!


Okay, that was my big announcement. :)


I am hoping to start posting more. I was having a pity party for one since I was struggling with the weight loss. I had gained from the vacation and was getting super frustrated. As a good friend reminded me over the weekend... I still can post about that stuff! Everyone can relate to the struggle... so I apologize for being so lazy!








I promise to keep my head up :)




FUN FACT: I have now run OVER 700 miles (since I started counting with MapMyRun) That is CRAZY! Never would have thought I would be running, let alone this many miles!

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Wait, what? I don't look gorgeous when I run??

Guess what?! I don't look perfect when running.

 Seems like a legit statement right? I had someone tell me how she always sees me running. In fact she saw me running last week... apparently I "always" look like I am  struggling and/or "about to die". Why thank you for pointing that out! :) I had then asked where she had seen me... figured out I was about 5 miles into my run around that time.
      **Side note: Whoever looks amazing after running 5 miles... PLEASE share your secret, cause I know I am a hot mess by this point!


Points of my story-

1. If you look gorgeous after a run... you weren't pushing hard enough.

2. I have a rule: No looking at your reflection while running. I prefer not to see what everyone else is!

 3. There are few moments in my life where I feel truly beautiful. One of those moments may surprise some.... it is when I get done with a run <3 Hot, tired, seat, stinky... gorgeous. I feel accomplished and not going to lie... a little bad ass.


So thank you lady for pointing that out :) Let's me know I have been working my ass off.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

A Little Inspiration and a CHALLENGE to all

 I am not your average looking runner. I run my 5'1" (rounding up) 180 lb. body for miles. It is a struggle. However, I am out there doing it. Good run, bad run... doesn't matter.

The other night...

  I was about a mile in and running across an intersection. A man rolls down his window and shouts "You got this! Looking great!". Needless to say, I got a little pep in my step.

 About 4 miles in I was ...struggling a bit, but still going. I was running past this man that stepped to the side and said "You are doing great, girl. Keep going!". 

 About 10 minutes of being done w/ my run, I hear this shout from behind. I kept running, but I heard the shout again. I turned around and there was a man waving me over. I thought he needed directions. Nope. He wanted to tell me how awesome it was to see someone out there working hard. He used to be a runner and said he wouldn't have been able to be out here running like I was. He encouraged me to keep going and said how I much I inspired him.

 I have had a few people cheer me on when I am out and about running. Never anything like this, though. I can't tell you how touched I am, that total strangers stopped to encourage me to keep going... to keep running. It helped so much and I thank them for their motivation. I will think of this night every single time I don't feel like going for a run.

So my challenge to my friends and family: When you see a runner or anyone working out for that matter... doesn't matter what size they are, cheer them on. If they look like they are struggling, let them know they can do it. That small act of kindness can inspire anyone to go far. I personally(previously secretly) hope to motivate people when they see me out running. I don't look like your typical runner... but hey, I like to sparkle once in a while.

feeling loved. See More

Monday, July 14, 2014

Going to My Happy Place...

   I felt like I was floundering. I had no direction and am stuck in a plateau that has felt endless. I tried making myself do things I didn't want to do. Cutting calories way back, getting up in the morning to run and really still getting no where. If it doesn't make me happy... I don't want to make myself do it.

That is what has gotten me this far, I don't know why I thought I could change that. Of course this journey hasn't been easy, but I learned very quickly that making myself do something, doesn't create the life long habit that I want.

So! I am back to doing what I do best... having fun. I am doing the workouts that are fun for me and back to counting those good old calories. I admit it, I got cocky. I thought I knew what I was about and could just eye-ball all the food I was eating. NOPE. I was wrong. Getting too comfortable with the routine, gives room for errors.

I also had a fantastic run tonight. I thought it was supposed to rain, so I brought my gym clothes. When I was heading out of work, it was still sunny and 70... a run? YES PLEASE. I felt so happy getting out there in the decent weather. I can't stand the humid heat when I run and can barely crank out 3 miles... if that. Tonight I was past 4 miles and felt amazing. Even had a better pace than I had been running. Running shoes and pavement... that my friends... is my happy place.

Message I want others to get out of this post: Do what makes you happy. If you dread it, you won't make a life time commitment out of it.

**Still holding at 130 lbs. lost. Still trying to find that magic spark to get the last 50 lbs. or so off. I will get there though. No doubt about that.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Making Something Out of Nothing

I over think. I don't mean I over think a little, I mean I over think A LOT.

Over thinking can help greatly with living a healthy lifestyle. You have to over think your workout plans, meal plans and what happens if you make a mistake. Going out to eat alone is at least a good 20 minutes of over thinking for me. It is all in the plan and  how to get yourself to move forward on your journey.

Then there is the over thinking that can hinder your progress. Lately it has been innocent comments from others that I have been over thinking. I have been over sensitive about my decisions lately in regards to my food choices or workouts. I got food the other week from a place I hadn't in a few years. I told someone about it and all they said was... "You have went years w/o going there.". Pretty simple statement, but the guilt was huge. I take pride in the fact I haven't been to certain places (mainly fast food joints) in years. That feeling of sliding back into bad habits came with a jolt.

The other comment I got, was about me taking a morning off from working out. I have been pretty open about not being a morning person, but still wanting to get up and run. I got a run in on Thursday morning, it sucked, but I did it. The next day someone asked if I ran that morning. When I said no (it is usually my rest day). I got an "Oh Holly" (which I hate when people say that!) "You were supposed to run 2 days in a row!". I felt the guilt instantly as if I was slapped with it.

I know the people making the comments have absolutely no clue what it triggers in me. I over think anyways, so this is just part of that. However, I have this guilt and worry sitting in the pit of my stomach lately that I just can't get rid of. Maybe it is because I haven't lost any weight recently, maybe it is because I haven't picked out my next goal... or maybe it is that I am getting a little too comfortable about eating and my workouts. Whatever it is, I need to shake it off.

Feeling the worry and guilt doesn't solve anything. I need to focus my over thinking on the positives and how I am going to reach my over all weight loss goal. I will always over think. That is just who I am... I just need to focus towards something that is productive, instead of the negative.

Keeping the head up and moving forward.

Side note: My new plan for trying to incorporate morning work outs, is to wake up every day at the same time. Whether going for a run or just doing some exercise in my apartment. Every day I will attempt to do some fitness in the morning and still do my normal routine at night. My hope is to get in a routine and then start to increase my miles again. Yay for planning!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Wait... You Mean Everything Isn't Perfect?

"I would be so much happier if I lost weight..."

I don't know how many times I said this. Over and over I repeated this line before I lost weight and even at the beginning of it all. I was so unhappy, that was what I clung to. Losing weight = Happiness.

I would like to say, for the most part... yes. Yes, I am 99.9% happier than I was at 300 lbs. I feel better, move better and over all have a way better attitude. However... there is still that .1%. That .1% that creeps up on me from time to time... the .1% that can take me off track for just a bit.

I have been in the largest of large funks this week and it has been extremely hard to shake myself of this. I have been feeling increasingly insecure about my body. The loose skin, the excess weight still there and the fact that I haven't lost a significant amount of weight in a year. Yeah, I said a YEAR. I have been pretty in denial about that fact.

One of the things I loved so much about losing weight, was dropping the dress sizes! To date I have dropped 7 dresses sizes since starting this journey. Pretty amazing to think about. I became so used to dropping at least 2 dress sizes a year, that when I was trying my shorts on for this summer... they fit. Perfectly. Now I am sure you are going to think I am crazy but... I was a little irritated. This is the first season in a few years that I didn't have to buy new clothes. The shirts are a little big yes, but everything fits. I guess I wasn't ready for that yet.

With everything I have written above... I guess what it comes down to is, some days, I have "fat" days. Days where I feel like I am over weight and am mad at myself for not continuing on the fast track to the healthy BMI.... that .1% of unhappiness that I still feel.

ANYWAYS...

I can't let this post be all negative. That isn't me!

I haven't written anything since before the half marathon. WOW! I had the best time and have the best friends and family. The day couldn't have been more perfect. I ran almost the entire thing...! (year you read that right!) I finished in 2 hrs and 57 min. Which is only 2 minutes faster than last year... but I ran almost the entire thing! I walked when I drank water and that was a trick I learned right away. The first water stand I grabbed a cup... kept running... took a drink... and spilled the whole thing over my face and clothes. Lessons learned.... I am not the best at multi-tasking! I also walked when I eat my endurance cubes, let's be honest... that was needed.

The best moment of the day... running across that finish line and seeing my friends and family cheering like crazy! My grandparents, aunt, parents, sister and so many of my favorite people traveled to see me run across that finish line. This special little girl that I love dearly was even there with her little "Go Holly" t shirt. Damn do I love that. I love them all for being there. Specifically a certain man that drove 400 miles to see me on my big day. I still have a hard time talking to my boyfriend about this epic journey I have been on. Don't ask me why, because I don't understand it either. I just do. However, he knew how much this day meant to me and he was there 100% to support me. A girl couldn't be more lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people.

So I started this post whining and I end on a positive note. That is how I think it should be. Things may get me down, but there is always something or someone to bring me back up.

Remember to not let negativity run your life. Keep your head up.



Friday, May 2, 2014

Half Marathon Eve...

Well, it is that time again. The day before one of the biggest runs I will ever do. I am sitting here thinking about last year and how emotional this whole journey has been.

Last year...

Thinking about the tears, the doubts and over all emotional rollercoaster that was my training last year, it seems like ages ago. I didn't know if I would make it, I didn't know if that was what I wanted to do and if it was in me to finish. This previously 300 lbs. girl was going to try to run something that most people wouldn't even try. I was mad for making the goal, amazed that I was actually doing it and sure that I wasn't going to make it... but I did. I got over my doubts, proved to myself I could and crossed that finish line with pride and amazement.

The friends and family who helped me achieve that goal are priceless to me. The support, encouragement and all out faith they had in me can never be repaid. Seeing them at the finish line and there for one of the biggest moments of my life, I can't even put into words what it meant to me. They knew something that I didn't that day... I would make it.

This year...

This past year has been just as much of an emotional rollercoaster as last year. There is one difference though... I have more faith in myself. It has still been hard on my body, still have my doubts and still have those tears. The pressure is off of wondering if I am going to make it though. Sure, I still have a little doubt, but deep down...I know I will. The training was just as hard on me this year as it was last year. How can it  not be when I am running 10 plus miles on a regular basis? There were less runs though of having to make myself get out there. I can't explain why this year is so different and how I am more mentally prepared for it... I just am.

I am going to have a large group of friends and family there for me tomorrow. It still brings tears to my eyes knowing everyone that is standing behind me 100% I have family coming from out of town and my friends that are driving hours to be here for me. My boyfriend that will be coming back specifically for this and my local friends willing to get up early to meet me on the route and at the finish line. I absolutely love them all. They will never know how much this means to me to see them there. They inspire and motivate me to get to that finish line and complete something I had never dreamed of only a few years ago.

2 years ago I had this lovely couple invite me over for dinner, loan me a book and help me take my journey to that next level. I never knew they would help me find my love of running. They have supported, encouraged and knew before I did, that I could do this. The same goes for my training partner (aka partner in crime). If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have made it last year. We didn't train together this year, but we still are running, still encouraging each other.

So many others have helped me through this training, they know who they are. Couldn't have made it with out their advice, encouragement and listening to my endless whining at times. The endless texts, endless running posts and endless talking about running... my friends are patient as all heck. :)

So here I am again, the day before the big run. I am sipping my coffee and thinking about the past and wondering what is ahead in my future.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Keep Moving and Challenging Myself

First off...

I am still training for the half marathon that is less than a month away!!! I am more excited this year than I was last. I will never forget the run last year, but I was so nervous I wouldn't be able to finish, that that was all I focused on. This year, I know I can finish the run. My goal is to have fun and push myself to do my best.

I had a distance run last week that was a little difficult. The first part was getting my ass out the door. I wasn't into it and didn't feel like running distance.  Backing out wasn't an option though. I was running in a different neighborhood and got lost for a bit. Then about 6 miles in I took a face plant. ( I know some of you reading this aren't surprised that I fell haha) I tripped over the uneven sidewalk and banged up my knee and got a few scrapes. I sat there for a minute and asked myself if I was going to go on or go home... I went on. I ran another 6+ miles and got myself home. Sure I felt like crap, wanted to quit, but I didn't. I sure as hell pushed forward and didn't throw in the towel.

I. Kept. Moving.

This weeks distance run, how do I say this... It sucked. My friend Jamie (training partner for last year) and I went on a distance run and started at the top of the bluff. Too many layers, didn't eat enough and wasn't hydrated enough for this run. We ended up having to re-fill our water bottles (which I have never done) and kept going. I finished 2 minutes faster than I did the previous week during my face plant run... but it was a HUGE mental game to keeping going... but I kept moving. I got pretty sick after (isn't running glamorous?) and didn't want to ever run distance again... I will be doing it again this week! haha

Second part... The Challenge!

My new challenge is actually recycled from when I first started the biggest loser contest waaaay  back in 2011. It is to do some physical activity every day. I know I am doing a lot more than I did back then, but why can't I drop and do 100 crunches or a few push ups on my off day? No reason not to. Tomorrow will be a full week of doing daily physical activity. I want to see how far I can go with this, so I haven't set an end date. Keeps me moving and challenges me to do just a little bit more.

One more thing!!

I got a team together at work to start a new contest called Lose It! There was 18 people from my department alone that signed up. The contest officially starts tomorrow and goes until June 1st. I am ready to do this!! So happy there was a good turn out for our group.

Keep your head up and keeping moving.

For a girl that used to be over 300 lbs. I have to stop and look back once in a while... I am not doing so bad!

_____________________________________________________

   A sweet side note: After every distance run I do, there is one person that is the first to text me. My boyfriend has been part of my running "routine" since last fall. He is the first person I text after a run or is the first to ask me how it went. Always encouraging and telling me it will be alright when I don't think I did well. The poor guy has to hear me whine a lot a bout aches and pains, but never complains. He is a keeper, that's for sure.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Broken Record

I feel like a broken record. Always "starting over" and "getting back on track" and never really getting anywhere these days... as far as food is concerned.

I am doing well with the fitness, but as we all know, it is a balancing act between that and eating healthy. I am not counting calories like I did before. I am not measuring food either. I am coasting along with nutrition and not trying as hard as I used to. However, I am still making healthier choices by making sure I am choosing healthy food over the junk. That isn't enough though.

One can still over eat on healthy food. Sure you chose a salad... then you have yogurt, string cheese, apple and on and on. All healthy food, but the amount of calories still add up. I can be a "boredom eater", "Stress eater" (aw hell an emotional eater) sometimes and just eat because I want to. Letting my emotions run my nutrition is not healthy. Period. Even the foods that seem "healthy" can take me of track because I didn't look closer at the nutrition label. I always say I can be a control freak (not a bad thing sometimes). I have lost a little of that control I had over the healthier foods. Smaller portions and not eating when I am not hungry... that is where I need to rein things in.

This week the goal is to only eat the food I have planned for. Only the snacks I bring, only the lunch I made and only the dinner I planned. Nothing extra, even if someone brings food in. I used to be really good at turning things down, but I have gotten too "comfortable" with my choices. I need to get back into that routine. (broken record!)

A bigger goal isn't only better. Sometimes it is the trail of smaller goals that gets you to the ultimate one.

Next goal: No extra food for the week.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Losing Weight vs. Getting Fit?

That is always the question that runs through my mind when I get frustrated over the number on the scale. I have so  many people remind me, almost daily, that I am building muscle and that weighs more than fat... so the scale doesn't matter anymore.

That is a concept that I am not sure I will ever fully accept. I have lived by the scale since I started this journey. I admit, a bit obsessively. I get asked quite frequently ... "How much weight have you lost?" If I am not to measure my healthiness by the number on the scale... how am I to answer the question? How am I to feel like I am making progress?

I started doing hot yoga recently and have incorporated weights into my weekly workouts. I can tell a difference in my body already. Even though I have the excess skin, the muscles below that are there and becoming defined. I can even tell the difference when I run. My posture is better and the recovery is a lot faster than it was last year. The lbs. haven't changed, but my body sure has.

I recently had a night where I had a tiny bit of a melt down over gaining 2 lbs. It was one of those days where nothing was going right and I hopped on the scale to see where I was at for the day. I looked down and...I had gained. It just seemed like the last straw for that night. It didn't matter that I had just gotten done with hot yoga and was able to do a pose I hadn't been able to do before. It didn't matter that I fit comfortably in my size 10's and recently ordered bridesmaid dress 7 sizes smaller than the first one I had ever ordered. All that mattered to me in that moment was the number on the scale. It was an emotional low that I will unfortunately have more of. I can accept that... I can also accept the fact that I will always have someone in my life to help me out of those lows. I have so many people that help me when I feel frustrated.  I am also not the girl crying over French fries anymore, I am strong enough now, that I can bring myself out of those moments of frustration.

So back to the question of losing weight vs. getting fit... My body is capable of so much more than I have ever thought. Getting fit and proving to myself that I can do some pretty awesome things... that is what is most important to me. What is the point of losing the weight if I am not doing it in a healthy way and staying fit at the same time? I would rather have the muscles and be able to improve my physical fitness than lose an extreme amount of weight and not be physically healthy. Being skinny doesn't always mean healthy and that is something I forget quite frequently.


I will never not care about the number on the scale... but as long as I am healthy and can still see progress, I will be 100 times happier than I ever was 4 years ago.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Being So Wrong...

Everyone has some sort of body issue. Doesn't matter who you are, one can always find something wrong with their body. Growing up and being over weight, I always had the thought "I will would be much happier if I lost weight. All my problems will be solved.".

How na├»ve was I to base all my happiness on the number I saw on a scale. I was an unhappy 300 lb. girl who KNEW all my problems would be fixed... if I was skinny. A lot of my unhappiness was based on my weight and the insecurities I felt with being so big. I used food as a crutch when I was sad or disappointed. Hell, I used food to celebrate and "relax". I was dealing with my feelings in all the wrong ways and my solution to those feelings... was still incorrect.

With having lost 130 lbs. in the last 3 years, I can say with all honesty... I AM HAPPIER. I have grown so much in the last 3 years and wouldn't take any of it back. It has been hard work, emotionally draining and one hell of a good time. However, the weight loss hasn't been the cure all for my body issues that I still have. Simply, I have the same issues with a few added new ones.

Recently I read an article highlighting this topic and have been thinking more and more about these insecurities. I've had this issue before, where I look in the mirror and see the same 300 lb. girl that I was. I don't see that person when looking in the mirror today, but I still feel huge some days. I have been the same weight for months and can't seem to get past it. The more I think about it the more frustrated I get.

Between the number on the scale and the excess skin I see on my body... that happiness that I am supposed to be feeling dwindles a little more. I get so angry at myself at times for letting myself get so big. I see that skin and it reminds me of how I ruined my body... harsh thoughts, but honest thoughts.

As time goes on, these thoughts come less and less. I am a fighter and won't let negativity bring me down. However, bringing that awareness that weight loss will NOT solve all your problems is very important. Anyone going through a life changing journey like this will have negative thoughts, but those moments will not define who you are.

I am not perfect and can't be positive all the time. As long as I don't let the negativity overwhelm me, I will survive and WILL be a happier person because of it. The number on the scale or size of my clothes do not define who I am... This journey has showed me way more than I ever thought it would.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Now I Am More Fun? No.

I had someone point out recently that I have changed... once again. The friend made a comment of how I am not super controlling of what I am eat/drink when out and about anymore. The meaning behind the statement was that I was always controlling of everything I eat and drank and conscious of my portion and now I simply am not. The friend didn't mean anything by it. Just a simple statement of "now you are fun.". Little did this person know that it would make me ask... What the hell am I doing?

At the time, that was news to me. I didn't think I had changed my habits and had just been having a busier social life... nothing wrong with that right? After really thinking about the events I have been attending, the food I have been eating, portions, drinks and more, it is no wonder I have been stuck in this rut of not losing any weight.

I used to worry about what I was going to order, what drinks I was going to have and even if I should eat before I left. I don't know when those thoughts went out the window, but I sure haven't been thinking about that stuff lately. Sure, my portions are still smaller than they used to be, but pair that up with some drinks and there you go, recipe for disaster (weight gain). It has been an endless cycle of losing the weight during the week and gaining the weight over the weekend. Thank goodness I haven't gained more weight than I could lose in a week... it has just been a never ending circle.

I know I can't be in control every minute, but I used to be so good at that. It was hard, but I would be able to keep within my rules I set for myself. Again, I don't know where my thoughts have been recently, but I need to snap out of this self indulgence.

Now that I am more aware of what I am doing (once again), it will be different. This just proves one cannot get "comfortable" in their healthier lifestyle. Things start to slip and healthy habits start going out the window (again).

A big thank you to my friend, who was blissfully unaware of how their statement would affect me. It is good sometimes to take a step back and realize where you are at with things.

Keeping my head up and moving forward.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Much Needed Picture Update!

You may notice a new look to the first page of my blog. My lovely and talented friends help make it what it is! Samantha took the pic and my awesome friend Erin took the time to update it for me.

Going back and looking at pictures help me refocus on how far I have come. I still have the doubt about how far I have to go yet, but those pictures make it worth it. I see myself everyday and in my eyes no changes have come about for a long time. (long long time)

I will get to that ultimate goal one day. Over all, the changes I have made in the last 3 years are HUGE. I feel like I have lived 2 different lives. Sure I have my doubts, but I have also never been happier, which is the main goal. (mind blown)


So thank you again to my amazing friends who help me get my story out. I greatly appreciate the time you take to help me look good!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Is It Good Enough?

I am feeling that self conscious "am I doing enough" feeling today.

With losing and gaining the same weight through out how many months, I am just wondering what it is that I need to do to move forward. It isn't about the number on the scale, the clothes are fitting the same as well. After having so many goals met and that awesome feeling of dropping a dress size... this feeling just plain sucks.

After all those positive thoughts... I look in the mirror. Still feel like I look big, my skin is drooping and I can't see any changes. I am pretty self conscious about the skin and have worried about that for awhile. Nothing I can do about it and I am finally starting to accept that. However still feeling big after losing 130 lbs? sounds pretty nuts, but the thoughts are there. That is where the question comes in... Am I doing enough? What more can I do and what do I need to change? ... At this time I don't have those answers.

This journey has a lot of emotional ups and downs, I guess I am just having a downward swing this week.

Tomorrow is a new day. A new day to feel inspired and motivated. I hate negative thoughts, so they better not stay around for long! :)

Try to keep your head up and move forward.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Maybe Learning?

I worked out tonight.

Nothing unusual about that statement. I normally workout on a regular basis, sure. What makes this statement a little more important, is the fact I worked out the day after running distance... lessons learned.

Last year when training for the half marathon, I was always so sore after and wouldn't work out the next day, not even a little. That always threw off my schedule of when I worked out and sometimes went 4 days in between getting my fitness on. I think that is one area I made a mistake with. I always had to start over the next time at the gym and it made it harder every time.

Yes, my body needs to rest after such a run. However, I can still do core and other exercises the next day. My workouts don't stop because I am sore, I need to keep moving to build on. I do not mind the sore muscles bc I know I am improving my health! I am hoping this is the start of a new routine for training and doing things a little smarter this year.

I ran half of a half marathon last night. (aka 6.6 miles) It was a hard run since I haven't been on the track in 2 weeks and barely been in the gym bc of the holidays. The hardest part is starting over. Once I have the momentum, it gets to be a normal weekly routine for me once again. I am on my way!

Favorite smoothie so far: Almond milk, ice, vanilla Greek yogurt and peanut butter.... MMMMHMM! Soo delicious! It was a great treat after a butt kicking run.


Keep your head up.

Monday, January 6, 2014

No Backing Out Now!

Just registered for the half marathon on May 3rd 2014!

This year I am focused. I know what I am doing, what needs to happen and where I am going. I want to focus on improving the amount of time I run and of course... HAVE FUN.

Stay tuned for training stories...

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Smoothie Adventure to Spice Things Up...

Here we go! Finally starting something new to mix my daily routine up a bit. I have been in such a rut with the same food, same workout and not enough motivation.

I got a Magic Bullet blender for Christmas and made my first smoothie ever today! It was pretty good. I do think there will be some trial and error with the flavors though. I got a lot of great suggestions from friends and family as far as different combinations and how to store them for lunch. (Friends and family are always a great source of information!) I also tried almond milk for the first time and LOVED it. I am not a fan of dairy milk, so having this alternative is fantastic.

Ingredients for the first smoothie: Strawberries, peanut butter, almond milk and spinach. (Kind of tasted like pb&j)

So with this new smoothie adventure, I am hoping it will get me more excited about food. I have been eating the same things for a while and haven't found any new recipes to spice things up. I feel like last year was all about the running and nothing about the food. Don't get me wrong, I still made healthy choices, but I was in the "I know what I am doing" mentality. When you are "assuming" you are doing things correctly... the portions seem to creep up and the "cheat days" seem to increase. That is what I want to prevent this year.

One thing I also have left at the wayside is reading articles and other books on living healthy. Wither it be about running or a person that lost a significant amount of weight, those stories are so motivating to me and I need to find more of those! Nothing inspires me more than reading about someone else's healthy journey.  (Any suggestions of articles, blogs or books would be appreciated!)

So here we go, another year for small victories. Getting back to the basics and the healthy living mentality that has brought me this far. Still about 50 lbs. to lose and I would totally be lying if I said it didn't matter if I lost those 50 this year. I want it gone, I want to move forward and I want to feel that excitement again.

Cheers to a new year and keeping your head up.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year... Same Goal

Happy New Year! Who is ready for 2014 to be THE year?

Everyone knows that at the beginning of the year, many people set that "new years resolution" goal to "lose weight". This also means that the gyms get packed, tons of weight loss products on the shelf and even more commercials on the "quick easy weight loss" remedy that someone has created. Most stick with it for a few months and then by March it is over.

If there is one thing this journey has taught me, is that you can't rely on the "New Years resolution". I am starting my 4th year of living healthier and have had a lot of ups and downs. It takes a lot more than saying... I am going to lose weight for the new year. Things need to be planned, smaller goals need to be made and one needs to be fully committed.

A New Year, but the same goal for me... Live as healthy as I can and get to that goal weight. That is what I am focusing on this year. 2013 I focused so much on the half marathon and strayed away from the basics. Didn't gain, but didn't lose a whole lot either. I feel refocused this year. Still doing the half, but have realized there is more to living healthy than just training. There is a balance to be had and I plan on being committed to that.

 I will forever be learning about this journey and finding myself in the process. I can't wait to see what 2014 has for me.

How are you going to make it YOUR year?