Sunday, February 24, 2013

Train Insane OR Remain The Same...

I saw this line and thought... this is what keeps me going. That worry about staying the same or going back and being the person I was before...

 I was so down on Thursday after my 10 mile run. I felt horrible after and it has been that way for a few weeks. By horrible I mean sick. I had been throwing up after running or being so sore and achy that I couldn't sleep. On Thursday I questioned myself on my decision to sign up for a half marathon. I just wasn't sure if my body could actually do this. Can I work hard enough to accomplish this? As soon as the nausea fades and the aches are iced and not so bad, that is  where my mind clears and says "yes I can".

It has been hard. There is no denying that, but I think it is worth it. Actually, I know it is worth it. I am going to accomplish something that the old me NEVER would have even thought to do. The me from even a year ago wouldn't have thought about running a half marathon, I hadn't even thought of the 5k yet. (That thought puts things into perspective!) This time last year I couldn't even run a mile yet and today I went for a "short" 2.5 mile run w/o being worn out. That is how far I have pushed myself in the past year.

So there is the fitness and goals for that.  As far as the weight goes... I have been stuck. Still stuck in the late 180's. I can't say I don't know why I am there. I know there has been stress lately and I have been eating and drinking more on the weekend then I usually do. I need to find that happy balance between the fitness and the food. It is like I can only focus on one or the other lately and that isn't helping. I lose the weight during the week and then ruin it on the weekend. I haven't gained to where I am worried I am off track... it is just keeping me from moving forward with the weight loss. I am so damn close and I don't know where my mind is on things right now. I am so focused on the race and  that has been all I have been thinking about with my lifestyle.

Lots of doubts and lots of thoughts from the past week. I am hoping for a new beginning this week and a move closer to my ultimate goal of not being over weight. Yes the half marathon will be an amazing thing, but the real goal is for me to be healthy.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Butterflies and Glitter...

 My friend Amy reminded me of this line recently. I had forgotten about my pep talk and telling her that after going to the gym it is like "freaking butterflies and glitter." I love that feeling when I am done with a good workout and I know I worked my ass off. It may be hard work while doing it (running 9.5 miles!) and some negative thoughts get through, but at the end of the day... quitting is not an option.

Positivity will get you through it. If I can't muster up the motivation I need... I know I have plenty of people in my life to step up to the plate and help me on my way.

Story: Running 9 miles the other week was hard. I got to a point where I said "I can't run anymore." My friend Jamie was running by and all she had to say was "okay, don't give up.". Don't give up. Give up? Not gonna happen. I did a lot of running off and on, but guess what? I finished. The whole point of this journey is finishing, whither I am running across that finish line or crawlin across... I got this.

Side Note: This isn't just about the 1/2 marathon, this is about my entire journey. Running or crawlin... I will get there.

Friday, February 8, 2013

"Let your past make you...

better not bitter."- Roy Disney

This is a quote that really made me think. With being over weight most of my life, there are so many things that I can think of that could make me bitter. The fact I didn't have the willpower to change my ways when I was younger comes to mind. I don't know why it "wasn't my time" or why I couldn't "just lose weight", but it wasn't and I couldn't. This crazy journey had to be done on my time, in my way and when I could. Well, I am glad I can and that I don't let that part of my past make me bitter.

The second thing that comes to mind is the teasing. The teasing from strangers, the comments from family and the not so subtle digs from "friends". It is all there and I can remember every one of those encounters. I would get down on myself or get sassy and claim I "don't care"... but I did. I cared about the looks, I cared about the laughs, it was hard not to. I can still get self conscious (what person wouldn't when they had been mooed at before??)

I am not bitter though. I use those experiences and memories to keep going on my journey. I do hate remembering some of it, it makes me uncomfortable at times, but I am not bitter. If I am getting frustrated with the lack of weight loss or don't want to work out... I just need to remember how far I have come.

Those experiences made me who I am today... I think I am doing pretty damn good.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Getting information!

One of the biggest tasks w/ the journey that I am on is to get information. Between what to eat, what to do while training for the half and just plain fitness in general, there is a lot that I do not know!

Thank goodness for good friends, family and Google. I would be lost and probably passed out after running, if I didn't have some way to get the information that I need. Recently I finished my first 8.5 mile run. I felt great after running! Which is a nice change of pace. To be honest I was getting to the point where I was dreading the run, hating it when I had 2 miles left and constantly was thinking I couldn't run this 1/2. It was very discouraging and I hated the negative feelings I was starting to get.

After running the 8.5 though, I felt amazing and was ready to go! I finally had a run that I was positive about. I get home and I try to eat dinner... well... let's just say dinner didn't stay down too long. "It was such a good run, what did I do wrong?" is all I kept thinking. Well after talking to a couple knowledgeable friends (Thank you Jamie S.) I got a lot of good tips and tricks to help prevent that. The tips vary between what food to eat before and after, how much water to drink and possibly trying protein mixes for after. I will see what works for me and go from there. I need to realize that I am running a lot farther distance than ever before. I need to take care of myself so I don't get hurt or sick again!

I also use Google a lot to find other blogs or articles about everything from weight loss to fitness. You just have to try what works for you and weed out the crappy information that is out there... there is a lot of that!

Do the research, get the knowledge to live a healthier lifestyle the safe and right way for you.

Information. One of the most important aspects of this journey.