Tuesday, May 28, 2013

I NEED Routine...

I have had a really hard time to get back into my groove after having an upper respiratory infection. My schedule being all over the place and not having my routine has helped me stay unmotivated as well. I am not having my typical meals, working out right after work or even drinking the amount of water that I am used to. I have really realized how much routine is very very important to me.

I have gotten back into Insanity and have vowed to complete the workout. I am pretty good at keeping my goals when I set them. I only have 1 more week of my off schedule, then I should have my normal routine back. Excuses. I hate excuses, but at this point... it is what it is. I lost my motivation for a bit, but I am determined to get back.

I also had a realization this past weekend. I am still worrying about how my weight affects the activities that I do. Silly after running a half marathon. I still have this fear of being embarrassed and having people make fun of me. Just the thought of having to play a sport and/or run in front of people I didn't know... broke me and brought flashbacks of being the fat kid in gym class again. I remember praying that it would rain when it was an activity that was outside that I didn't want to do... like running the mile. The insecurities that I had back then... still hang around... which was a total shock to me.  I was still living off my half marathon and the things I have accomplished so far. I kind of realized now that I thought I "had this". I have done a lot true... but I am not done. I can't coast the last 50 lbs. off.

This opened my eyes and made me realize that I am not always going to be 100% positive and that I am not 100% confident. I will have my melt downs yet and my insecurities... thank goodness I have good people to bring me back to reality.

So after my emotional shock and currently watching my favorite show: Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition... I want my motivation back. I want my routine back. I want that fire back... I feel like I am getting back into that mentality and ready to do this!

"Do Epic Shit."

Sunday, May 19, 2013


I have felt a little lost the past 2 weeks. The half marathon is over and I got sick with a cold almost directly after. I haven't worked out in 2 weeks... and that is so not like me!  Like normal with my cold, I get a URI and have issues with my asthma. That has kept me from running since the half. I know from experience the hardest thing to do is to get back into the normal workout routine.

I am feeling about 98% better today and am ready and determined to start back up again. I can't continue to not get my fitness on... it just puts me in a bad mood for one thing. The other reason, I only have 50 lbs. to go! I know I have said that in a couple posts. Reason being: I have been stuck and also the minor detail of... I haven't worked out in 2 weeks!

Routine is so important to me and this journey. I have been working different hours for a project at work and have been working longer days. I am traveling to another clinic for a few days next week and I am already having concerns about not being able/wanting to workout while I am there. I have a feeling once I get back to my normal schedule of work, gym and a healthy meal, things will go a lot better. At least I know that it is a huge concern for me and that I will NEVER fall back into my old ways just because of a little change.

So back at it I go. I so badly want to lose the rest of this 50 lbs. this year. I have some new ideas for fitness, but mainly I just want to get out there and run.

Keep your head up.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

My First Half Marathon...

Photo: Post half marathon Holly! Such an inspiration!

I did it! I completed my first half marathon! I finished in 2 hours and 59 minutes.

This day couldn't have been more perfect. The weather was cold and rain free. The friends I saw as I kept hitting each mile marker kept me going. My parents even came and surprised me at mile 7! At the finish line was where I really got my experience in... I turned my ipod off to take it all in. My friends and family cheering me in to the finish line... cheering to keep me pushing.

It was one of the hardest things that I have done so far. I pushed through the pain, pushed through the doubts and pushed through the mental games. I was never so happy to see a mile marker than I was when I saw that number 12. After mile 9 is where it got harder for me. My hip hurt like crazy and I was feeling sick. I kept going and kept pushing though, that is the most important part. Thank goodness for all the volunteers that kept up the encouraging words and cheering all the runners to keep going. I did ask one if it would be alright if I called a cab from mile 11... he said it probably wasn't the best idea.

At the finish line is what I will remember for the rest of my life... I turned my ipod off to take it all in. My friends and family cheering me in to the finish line... cheering to keep me pushing and to keep running. It is the most amazing experience to be running to the finish line of a race that you worked so hard to complete.

My parents brought me roses to congratulate me and even brought flowers for my training partner Jamie and my uncle John. They were so proud of everyone that ran and said over and over how proud they were of me. I loved seeing them at the 7 mile... I was disappointed when I thought they weren't coming and so happy to see them there. They had been planning on coming since the first day that I said I was going to run a half marathon. My grandma was nervous to talk to me because she thought she would let the surprise slip. Gotta love grandma!

I have the best friends in the world. Period. They support me and keep me going like none other. The ones that were physically at the race were there with  no hesitation. They wanted to be there to support me and have always been there. A couple of them attended my first 5k race less than a year ago again no question about it. They are some of my favorite people to see at the end of a big race!

Another friend gave me one of the best gifts... he gave me the most inspirational quotes I could have ever found. He made sure that I knew how awesome this day was going to be and how much I inspire others. He was right there at the finish line as well, again no hesitation.

The messages alone from the friends and family that couldn't be there was overwhelming. The encouragement, the inspiring words and the pure support that I got from them is priceless. The amazing card from my sister, the calls from friends, the facebook messages and even my grandparents and little brother called to wish me luck. I also received the sweetest card from someone I have actually never met in person. Kristen is on her own journey of a healthier lifestyle and she took a moment to wish me luck in a card. Our stories are so similar and I am very proud of how far she has come.

The friends that ran the half... are awesome! They are the ones that got me into running and the one that was sweating right along w/ me when we trained. It was a day for all of us to remember and I could not have asked for better people to run with.

My uncle John has supported me from day one and again had no hesitation to run w/ me. John and my aunt had to drive 2 hours to make it up here for the race. It is amazing to think that they were here right along with me and shared this experience. Couldn't think of a better way to hang out w/ my family!

I did it. It was fantastic and now I sit here and think... What's next? :)

** To some that don't know my past and how far I have come... they make think that I am making too much out of a race. The ones that really know where I started and how far I have come, they understand why this was such a huge moment in my life.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Day before one of my biggest life events...

It is the day before the half marathon...!

The big day is just around the corner and I couldn't be more excited. I am nervous yes and a bit of a basket case. (Anyone who REALLY knows me knows that that is a normal thing :P) 7 months. 7 months of training, tears, amazement and unfortunately some kneeling before the porcelain. It has been one of the best adventures that I have been on. I feel like I really found myself through all of this.

I couldn't have made it through all this training w/o my training partner! My friend Jamie is always in for whatever adventure is up for conversation. I asked if she would like to run a half marathon... she said "okay". It started from there. This will be her first race as well and has worked so hard to get to this day. I think our friendship has grown through this adventure of ours and I couldn't be more proud of her.

 We ran together once a week for 7 months. If we couldn't run together, then we made sure to text each other once we were done. We kept each other accountable and discussed different ways of training. Our motto has been "If it seems legit...". We had no training plan and just went for it. Again, anyone who really knows me knows that I love google.com and will research everything that I change in my lifestyle. We got a lot of tips from websites, articles and just the people around us.

One big thing that I learned from Jamie was... chill out. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do the best and do it well. If I had a bad run, I was apologizing all the time and upset that I didn't do better. She taught me how to "run for fun". Just go out, run and have a good time. I am finally learning that after 7 months w/ training. Running is fun to me, it is a stress relieve and I can't imagine a time where I didn't do it.

Did I mention that we always make our runs an experience? Between dancing at the stoplights, mother nature's treadmill, running w/ glow sticks and tripping on the sidewalk... I definitely have some memories from our runs. All I have to say is... thank goodness I was running w/ a nurse!

So here I am. I am about to accomplish one of the biggest goals I have set for myself. It is an overwhelming thought.

I have received so many phone calls and messages from old friends, new friends, co-workers and family. Everyone has been so supportive and amazing. It brings tears to my eyes to know how great the people I surround myself with are. The ones that wish they could be there... they have no idea how much that means to me to know that they wanted to and just even had the thought. The ones that will be there... I can't wait to see them all when I cross the finish line. This journey that I am on has showed me how damn lucky I am to have these people in my life.

Thank you to the friends and family that have been there giving advice, giving encouragement, cheering me on and picking me up when I was down. You mean the world to me and there is no way I could ever repay what you have given me.

**Best of luck when running your half marathon Jamie, Justin, Cindy and my Uncle John. I could not ask for better people to have this adventure with.