tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15399905276776947362024-02-01T22:26:43.961-08:00New Small VictoriesI started my lifestyle change in January of 2011. There has been a lot of success and just as many set backs.
I am on the path to a healthy weight and a healthier me.MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.comBlogger134125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-27466224376782090002019-02-12T17:46:00.001-08:002019-02-12T17:46:18.578-08:00What is Wrong With You? That is what I keep asking myself. Why can't I have a normal relationship with food? Why can't I lose weight? Why am I so insecure and over think... What is wrong with me?<br />
<br />
As I continue through this rollercoaster of a journey, I struggle to keep positive as I find my normal again. I am a creature of habit. I need a routine of food prep and exercise to stay on track. It has been difficult finding that normal again with school, training and work. I feel like I am stressing myself out because I don't have that normal and I connect that to being the only success option for my weight loss. As an emotional eater, the stress is counterproductive.<br />
<br />
Last week was a struggle for some reason. Not only with food, but my 9 miles run was terrible. Like really terrible. I couldn't get in my groove and struggled after 2 miles. The whole time I am just thinking "how can you NOT do this?". At the end of the run, the time wasn't as bad as I thought and I felt like a real ass about how I was acting. The negative thoughts that poured in with every step will never help the moment. The negative thoughts just make a difficult time even worse. However, I picked myself back up (bc I couldn't call anyone to do pick me up!) and kept going. One foot in front of the other and I got myself there. No matter what happened during that run... I finished.<br />
<br />
There was also a moment last week that made me step back. I was in the gym here doing a workout that happened to have a LOT of burpees (Thanks Crystal!). There was this guys that kept looking over at me and then going to speak to a woman on a treadmill. My first thought was... they are making fun of me. As this has happened on numerous occasions before, I think it is a legit thought and one that many with a similar story' as mine would relate to. When I got done with my workout and was about to leave, the guy stopped me and said something that surprised me.... "Where did you learn to do all that? You were killin' it." I initially wasn't expecting that, but thinking on it now... why the hell not? So I told the guy about CG and the types of workouts we do, he seemed impressed! I walked away with my head high and a small feeling of shame that my first thought was so negative.<br />
<br />
I NEED to get that positive mindset back. I don't know how I lost it... but I need to find it again. <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">As I make "mistakes" and binge or maybe don't lose during the week... I keep saying tomorrow or the next meal, I got it. No matter how many times I have fallen in this journey it is so important that I pick myself back up. So today... I say tomorrow will be better. </span><br />
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
I hope this post helps someone else who may be struggling with self negativity... know that you are not alone.💜<br />
<br />
<br />
Half Marathon training update: 10 miles this week!MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-59841892824956856102019-01-14T16:54:00.003-08:002019-01-14T16:54:55.717-08:00Starting Over Sucks... But it's On<div>
Schedules are made, recipes are picked out and flashy new leggings have arrived... I think I am ready!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Things have changed so much since I initially started this journey. That is a good thing! However, it keeps me guessing about how to find that right combination again. I need to remember that there was a TON of trial and error at the beginning and that will continue... forever! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Food planning is extremely important. I am a self admitted food addict. I stress eat, depressed eat, excited eat and everything in between. While working from home I have learned that I absolutely can't keep food in the house that I can binge on. It is sad I can't trust myself, but at least I am honest with myself about it. My goal is to have an 80/20 diet. 80% healthy choices and 20% of stepping out. I feel like the 20% takes the pressure off and keeps me from feeling like I did something wrong, feeling shame or disappointment with myself. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The exercise is on point and planned out! I made a legit training/workout schedule for the upcoming half marathons. I run on Monday, Wednesdays and Saturdays. I will then do my cross training of Camp Gladiator on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It is definitely more intense training schedule than I have ever done, but I am hoping that it will help me reach goals with weight loss and the half marathon. This Thursday I also signed up for a webinar on "not your average runners" training for a half marathon. I am hoping to learn some tips and tricks! Half of the training and getting the mental mindset is doing your homework and reading up on others that may inspire you. I feel like I am setting a successful path... a hard path... but successful!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Last weekend was my first distance run in a while. 5 miles of hill running. I don't know what I was thinking going to that park, but I guess I decided I needed MORE of a challenge. Over all things felt good. I ran the majority of it and did it in a decent time. The only bummer of the run was puking my guts out after. That seems to have started early this time! I am currently reading up on how to prevent this. Once I find that right combination of hydration and food, I will do another post specifically on that. I can't be the only one with this issue right? …. well hopefully not! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So there is the update after my first week of getting back to it. I couldn't wait to do this post and that makes me very happy. I hope this helps someone out there... you aren't alone! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Holly</div>
MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-31611901766156911302019-01-06T14:05:00.000-08:002019-01-06T14:05:25.261-08:00A New New Small Victories2 years… over 2 years since I have posted. Where has the time gone? I could fill this post with 100 excuses of why. Why I have derailed, why I haven't continued to blog, etc... but I won't. I don't want to look back at the fabulous mess I have been. I want to look to the future and improving myself.<br />
<br />
What's new...<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>We still live in North Carolina and have sort of found our spot. It hasn't been easy for me to adjust working from home full time, but it gets better as the time goes on. </li>
<li>I have found a workout class that works really well for me. It is a boot came style class that is outdoors. The trainer is amazing, the workouts kick my butt and I have met some fabulous people. I have been going for a year, with some travel breaks. </li>
<li>I have gained about 20 lbs. the last 3 years. That sentence is extremely hard for me to write. I have been disappointed, ashamed and discouraged by it. I have lost and gained about 10 lbs. of that in the past year. Right now I am back down about 6 lbs. from my 20 lb. gain. </li>
<li>Running! I have found my spark again. Last September I did a run at Hinson Lake. It is a 24 hour run where you just get in as many miles as you can. I plan on doing a whole blog post about this amazing time, but wanted to bring it up. It gave me the motivation I have lacked for a couple years. </li>
<li>2 Half Marathons are in my future for 2019! </li>
<li>I am going back to school for my bachelors in Business.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I think that about sums up my journey the last few years I have been radio silent on the blog. The journey derailed, but I am feeling confident and positive I am back in the right mind. It is a different lifestyle I live from when I first started this journey. It has been hard (really hard) to adjust, but feel I may be ready again. I hit another low... anxiety over how I looked, worried about what people thought and not wanting to do things because I gained some weight. I am done.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So here is to another year, a new start to this journey and all the goals and challenges to come in 2019! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am happy to be back!</div>
MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-38820644503594679382016-06-26T13:15:00.001-07:002016-06-26T13:18:08.230-07:00Challenge Accepted... Challenge Completed: Clean Eating for a WeekThe past week I accepted a "clean eating challenge". It isn't something I had ever thought I would try and not really something, I feel, I could personally do for the rest of my life... BUT it was a great challenge and really opened my eyes to the food I had been eating.<br />
<br />
<br />
I prepped for the week by making a meal plan. That can be tough! Thank goodness for Pinterest! I chose a lot of crock pot meals and easy ones to put together. I didn't have to do a lot of meal prep on Sunday, just more so figure out what I wanted to make.<br />
<br />
<br />
I have always been very strong in my opinion of... you can't just go "cold turkey" for a change. You are just setting yourself up to fail. So, my goal for the week was 90% clean eating. That left room for some tweaks and not feeling like I had so much of a restriction.<br />
<br />
<br />
Over all I think it was a success. I am not talking about weight loss success (which I did lose a few lbs). I am talking about just feeling "clean" on the inside. There were times I did feel hungry, which I was able to drink water or have a snack when that happened. Over all I felt my energy for the day was up, workouts went better and I just felt lighter... if that makes sense?<br />
<br />
<br />
I continued to count calories during this past week and was surprised at how much I was able to eat. Not all "clean" foods are low in calories, but I kept that in mind when making my meal plan. Lots of veggies, fruit and natural ingredients. I was able to eat quite a bit and stay within my calorie goal. <br />
<br />
<br />
I learned a lot during the week. I am going to try to incorporate this in my meals and snacks for the future. Just because it is "low calorie" doesn't mean it is healthy. I feel I am going to choose the more natural snack vs a low calorie "100 ingredient" snack... at times. It is all about balance and what works well for me. <br />
<br />
<br />
When I went grocery shopping for this week, I checked all the ingredients in the food I chose. Some things still had quite a few, but I passed up on a few things that I would have normally bought. Having an "all or nothing" attitude doesn't always help. It is so easy to get down and even fail. Hopefully making these small victories will help me on my journey of just being overall healthy. <br />
<br />
<br />
I stepped out of my comfort zone on this and am really glad that I did.<br />
<br />
<br />
Challenge was accepted... challenge was completed<br />
<br /><br />
Do you think you could/would try it?<br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Example Menu of 1 day clean eating:</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
Breakfast- Blueberry oatmeal muffin and Coffee<br />
Lunch- Chicken and Veg lettuce wrap<br />
Snack- Apple<br />
Dinner- Orange Chicken (crockpot) w/ stir fry veggies<br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-70969099115712266102016-06-09T15:13:00.000-07:002016-06-09T15:13:14.026-07:00Try, Fail, Try, Fail, Try....That has pretty much been the pattern since moving here. Try to eat low cal, try to work out 5 days a week, it is an endless cycle. No one said this journey was easy though.<br />
<br /><br />
I have been doing really good this past couple of weeks. I am not seeing the # on the scale do anything, but have been feel strong when working out. I have been sticking to my 5 days a week of solid workouts. Feels so great! Even on the days I didn't really want to. I have been having more good days than bad as far as calories go. Over all... it is a wash. lol!<br />
<br /><br />
What can I do? I keep moving forward. A friend gave me some advice the other day. Long story short- I may not be eating enough calories to balance out the workouts. Essentially putting my body into preservation mode. Who knew I could eat too LITTLE calories to not lose weight? I get it, I do. Plus I need the calories to keep the energy to workout. The hard part is shaking that mentality of cutting calories. I mean that is how I lost the fist 115, why can't I continue? I can't bc I can't cut anymore than I have and still function as a person ...<br />
<br /><br />
SO! I need to make the calories count. Stay on the lower end, but pay more attention to protein intake and all of that. We will see what happens, I was never very good at paying attention to that, but before.. I didn't totally need to. However if that could get me past this rut I have been in? I am willing to try!<br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
In other news...<br />
<br /><br />
We are settling in well in NC. I have already done 2 5k runs since moving here... we have been here two months! (are you surprised?) I have been finding a lot to do and still getting used to the whole working at home thing. I am slowly getting my routine down, which over all is making me feel more comfortable here. <br />
<br /><br />
Keeping it positive and moving forward. That is the only way to survive this wild journey. MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-23572032074167711762016-05-19T18:15:00.001-07:002016-05-19T18:15:52.009-07:00No Pictures Allowed? How I lost Myself This Past Year...I was looking at some pictures on the wall the other day. Remembering the good times I have had with my friends and family. All of a sudden it hit me... I do not have any pictures from the past year, up on the walls. <br />
<br /><br />
When losing the weight, I loved trying on clothes, taking pictures and over all... looking in the mirror at my progress. Since gaining this 15 lbs., I have become extremely self-conscious. I have gotten worried when trying on clothes, trying to "suck it in" when taking pictures and just standing in front of the mirror like "what the f?". <br />
<br /><br />
Of course when things are going your way, it doesn't matter if it is weight loss or whatever, everything is sunshine and rainbows. Once things aren't going your way (not losing weight or gaining), you start to doubt yourself, get negative and even feel shame. <br />
<br /><br />
I feel it. I feel the shame and will stand in front of that mirror and just say "what is wrong with you?". I am sure I am not the only one in the world feeling this way, but it is such a huge step back. The only thing I can be grateful for, is that it isn't every day. That would be one negative life! I know it is an emotional black hole, that is very hard to dig yourself out of. I am not perfect. I can't keep a positive attitude 100%. However, I like the 80/20 rule. I am allowed 20% of negativity to 80% of positivity. I think that is a good balance. <br />
<br /><br />
Apparently I have been, without realizing it, ashamed of how I look, so I didn't want any pictures up to show it. Now that I am aware of what I was doing, I am going to get some pics up. I need to. I need to prove to myself I am not that far off from where I was. I can get there again, I just have to find the right path. <br />
<br /><br />
What I am doing today helps. I have been continuing my 5 day a week workouts. I have been running 2 days a week, 2 days of weights and a day of yoga or Pilates. I also have been using my Loseit app and counting calories religiously again. Steps in the right direction.<br />
<br /><br />
Since moving to NC, I do go out to eat more often, which is a change from when I originally started this journey. I am aware though that my choices are more so of what I want at the time and not being prepared to find the healthiest meal on the menu. Being aware and admitting the miss step, is a small victory.<br />
<br /><br />
The plan moving forward is to stay away from the "3 C's"... Nothing Creamy, Crunchy or Cheesy, when out for dinner. Keep it in check. I don't want to ruin my weeks progress on a few high calorie meals over the weekend. I am still able to be out and enjoy time with my boyfriend w/o feeling guilty about what I am eating. <br />
<br /><br />
Turning a little negativity into a whole lot of positivity. I am starting to feel like my "old/new" self, once again. <br />
<br /><br />
Keep your head up. <br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-63692173281059879012016-05-04T17:35:00.000-07:002016-05-04T17:35:13.035-07:00Yes! I am still alive.It has been a long time since I have even attempted a post. I could give you a laundry list of why... but I won't. It has been a while, but I am back! We will leave it at that.<br />
<br /><br />
One bit of exciting news is that I am writing this blog post from.... North Carolina! Yes, I left my homeland of WI and am now living in North Carolina with Kedrick. We made the move so that we would be closer to his job sites and he wouldn't have to travel so much. Needless to say... it has been an adventure!<br />
<br /><br />
I am settling in pretty well. I was able to keep my job and am working from home. That is very very new to me. I am a social person, so it has been a hard adjustment so far. It will be worth it though! I love my job and the people I work with, so we will make it work.<br />
<br /><br />
On thing that is extremely hard with working from home, is not going overboard with snacking and eating through they day. The plus about physically going to work is that I would bring my food for the day and that was it. I wouldn't have the option really to eat more or "graze". That has been very difficult. I have kept pretty healthy snacks and only getting food that I need for the week and that is it. It has helped, but I know there are days I eat more than I should have. Over eating healthy food is totally a thing! I am not going to beat myself up about it, but I need to make sure those days are few and far between. More to come on this! I will find a way to make it work.<br />
<br /><br />
So that is where I am at with my relationship with food... trying to hold myself back. My workout routine has been rockin though! I am very much a routine person. Now that we have been here a few weeks, I feel like I am finally getting it. I am working out in the morning, 5 days a week and doing activity at night. There is a gym here at the apartment and even a pool. Since I work a little later here, I get the gym to myself every day. How awesome is that?? I am also getting my running back. I go to a trail that is close by and run my laps. It is peaceful and again, not a whole lot of people around.<br />
<br /><br />
I think I am finally getting back to me. Trying to live that healthy lifestyle without stressing myself out too much. I actually am not even weighing myself as much as I had been... which was obsessively! Still haven't lost the weight that I have gained, but I am getting healthy, that is what it is about!<br />
<br /><br />
So this is the start of hopefully writing more on the blog, going out and exploring my new city and have a lot more adventures.<br />
<br /><br />
Cheers!MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-9227100180027639312016-02-21T06:58:00.000-08:002016-02-21T06:58:26.420-08:00Confessions of a food addict: Part 1I was hoping this past week, things would calm down a little. Not so much luck. Still a lot going on professionally and personally that has helped me continue on this path of destruction with emotional eating. I feel that I have pretty much hit rock bottom. The only positive side, is the fact that this rock bottom wasn't my initial rock bottom. Yes, there are apparently a plethora of rock bottoms in this absolutely crazy journey.<br />
<br />
I am a food addict.<br />
<br />
The more I say it, the more it should help... right? I have admitted it many times.... soooo I should just be able to move forward. No? That isn't how it works? Well... shit.<br />
<br />
Today is my day though. I almost said "Let's start Monday.". NO. I am not falling into that trap. I have learned way too much in the last 5 years. This starts today and will continue going forward.<br />
<br />
The hard part is routine. With so much going on, it is hard to gather a routine. Which I need. I need that, so I don't talk myself out of things. Like I have in the past week. I am going to try though. Really, really try.<br />
<br />
I already have the days planned out that I am going to run. I am going to try the new app from work that has a TON of work out videos. If I can't run, I will do those. They even have a 20 minute one. NO excuses.<br />
<br />
Food. Food is a big issue for me. I just need to get back to meat and veggies for lunch. We will start there. Baby steps.<br />
<br />
My small victories are back in full swing. It will get better... it has to get better.<br />
<br />
Otherwise I will have no clothes to wear once spring really hits!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-66409274807277268612016-02-11T17:31:00.000-08:002016-02-11T17:32:21.070-08:00What You Eat in Private... Shows in PublicMy weight loss is officially at a stand still. To be honest... it is more rolling backwards than at a stand still. My clothes are starting to get tight and I can see the weight. 15 lbs gained will do that to you.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That last sentence was huge for me to state. I panicked when I realized that is how much I had gained back. I swore to myself I wouldn't tell anyone and that I will just get the weight off asap. Now thinking back... a thought like this: "If you don't tell anyone, no one knows and no one will think of you as failure." is not fair to myself or the people around me. I need to be honest so others know it is okay to be honest and to stay accountable for my actions. I have hit a rough patch, but will get through it. I will. It is just a matter of when.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Lots going on in my life these days. Biggest thing: I am moving to North Carolina next month. CRAZY! I am excited and really nervous. Sad to leave my friends and family, but really excited for the adventure and spend more time with my boyfriend. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The process of making this decision and getting things put together for the move, is stressful to say the least. Emotional Eater + Stress + food addict = bad news bears. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am trying. I really am, but then I start to see all the treats around me every single day and going out to eat and not even bothering to check calories... I swear I am addicted to sugar again... it is all very overwhelming. At least I am still being active and working out 4 days a week. However, calories in vs calories out... shit gets real. So in all actuality... the weight gain could be worse!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Other thing is, the fact I am cooking not just myself but my significant other as well. Which is very new. Before I only had to worry about myself. If I wanted a bowl full of cabbage for dinner, that is what I would have. I wouldn't keep sweets or things in the house bc I knew how I was. Living with someone is a game changer. Really this is one big twist in the journey, that I have to figure out. Thank goodness K loves all the low calorie meals and things that I cook! Very lucky in that. Just need to figure out the portions better for myself and get back to being more careful when I go out to eat... It is a whole new level to me. I can't look at his plate and think that I can eat the same portion. That is not healthy thinking... that is food addict thinking.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am hoping that I can at least stop gaining the weight while in the process of moving. Then I can get settled and back on track. I just really don't know what to do right now... How do I get that healthier mentality back?? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hopefully the answer will come soon.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Being honest with myself and others has been a positive thing. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to say something out loud... it makes it real. Which can be scary. The biggest thing... you don't have to go through this journey alone. I just needed that little reminder. </div>
MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-65367774578304032392016-01-27T18:51:00.000-08:002016-01-27T18:51:07.343-08:00Not myself, but trying...This will be a short post. This is more of a confession and promise, than a real post...<br />
<br /><br />
Confession- I have gained over 10 lbs. back<br />
Promise- I will take those 10 lbs and the last of it off... this time I will succeed.<br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
There will be ups and downs. This journey isn't for the faint of heart. There is disappointing times, hard times and down right impossible times. However, it is what you learn from it, that matters.<br />
<br /><br />
Grow with the struggles...<br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
I will be back. :)MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-70208054300730208892015-11-09T18:18:00.000-08:002015-11-09T18:18:28.628-08:00Telling My Story and The Bag That Was Packed for 3 weeksToday was a good day. No, not just a good day... a GREAT day. I always say it is the little things in life that can make you happy... well I had a small victory day. Boy has it been a while!<br />
<br />
I started my day with being a guest speaker at UW-L. My friend teaches there and asked me once again to speak with her class. I am so honored that she thinks of me. A student asked her a question last year... What was the biggest transformation she personally witnessed. I am the first person she thought of!<br />
<br />
This is the second time I have done this and I was still nervous. I worry about rambling or getting lost in what I want to say. It helps to have a power point of pictures and an outline... but really I just talk and tell my story. Tell them why I started and how I started. Tell them about the time I literally cried over eating french fries or how excited I was to be like everyone else and try on a bridesmaid dress. Or the time I signed up for one of the hardest 5k runs in the area (yeah, I still remember that!). (I got a few chuckles)<br />
<br />
What means the most to me is that I am getting my story out, which is similar to many others. Giving others an insight on how hard it is to lose weight and break eating habits that have been going on for years and years... it is priceless. Having just one person understand or even be inspired by the story, is enough for me.<br />
<br />
Going to speak to this class also means a lot to me personally. It helps me stay motivated and reminds me to look back. I need to look back at that unhappy person and remind myself I am never going to be in that place mentally or physically again. It helps me keep moving forward and not give up. This has been a really hard time of not working out and not losing weight. I have a new spark that I am excited about though. A spark that will keep me positive and moving forward. That is what speaking about my journey does for me.<br />
<br />
The Bag That Was Packed for 3 Weeks...<br />
<br />
Has been finally taken out and about! Yes, that gym bag that I had packed right before the appendix had to come out, was taken to the gym today. I was able to do 30 minutes on the elliptical. Not as easy as it used to be, but I got through it. 3 weeks off is no joke my friends!<br />
<br />
I am excited to be doing this much and am planning on slowly building on to it. Starting from scratch, but feels oh so good!<br />
<br />
Small victory for the day.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYOI2sp3aede1y55PS3yq5ySdg79KzdntxR1Nr_RbWW40T2tQ9sXA-HpNHBWdunKzC9lA9Y01Vyx-zyiBMvBMI8vpObNWSGXulKJN2Gn4h4hpGH4n_dUmpA2FT-Z3fWkuPtw_I0i7Gdn0/s1600/b5374d063ba425e0ddcea3b6ebfa6fdd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYOI2sp3aede1y55PS3yq5ySdg79KzdntxR1Nr_RbWW40T2tQ9sXA-HpNHBWdunKzC9lA9Y01Vyx-zyiBMvBMI8vpObNWSGXulKJN2Gn4h4hpGH4n_dUmpA2FT-Z3fWkuPtw_I0i7Gdn0/s1600/b5374d063ba425e0ddcea3b6ebfa6fdd.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-49373345552903646602015-11-08T16:19:00.001-08:002015-11-08T16:19:27.654-08:00Starting From Scratch... I need to start from square one. Here is the reason why...<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago, my appendix decided to throw a fit and needed to be evicted. Not something I was expecting. (which no one is!) The surgery went well though and I am on the mend. However, what these means is that I have needed to time to heal and have not been able to workout or run as I was before.<br />
<br />
I felt like I was just starting to get back into running on a regular basis, right before this surgery. Now it has been about 3 weeks since the surgery and have been able to go on walks a couple times a week, but that has been about it. I have one more week of weight restrictions and then I am able to slowly get back to it. This is the longest I have gone w/o working out. It has been maddening to say the least!<br />
<br />
I have been trying so hard to keep my calories under control. I have not been perfect, but have been using my loseit app and been counting calories. I haven't gained weight as I thought I would, since I was not active, but I haven't lost any of it either. If you have read my previous posts, you know I am not happy where I am at today w/ my weight. On one end I should be happy though, that I haven't gained a bunch of weight, but on the other end I am just stuck where I have always been stuck. It is frustrating.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow I am going to go to the gym for the first time in a few weeks. My plan is to hop on the elliptical and hopefully get a decent workout in. I am hoping it won't be as jarring as running would be at the moment. Unfortunately w/ the excess skin/fat and the motions of running, it is not ideal for the incisions that are still a little tender. (TMI I know! lol) I am trying to not push too hard, but I need to do something. It just feels like starting over. I am not going to be where I was physically before... so it is going to be a lot of hard work once again. Well, it is always hard work, it is just going to be harder not just physically but mentally.<br />
<br />
On another note...<br />
<br />
I was asked once again to be a guest speaker for my friends college class. I will be sharing my weight loss journey and I am honored to be asked. I am nervous though. To be perfectly honest, I feel like a fraud right now. I have not been losing weight consistently, I have had my bad days with food... it is just hard to look back and see how far off I am right now. HOWEVER, this is so good for me. I need this. I need to look back and tell my story not just so others understand where some people are coming from as far as weight struggles, but also to remind myself that I am no where near where I started and that... I am doing okay.<br />
<br />
The biggest message that I want to give to others while sharing my story...<br />
<br />
Never say "can't you just" to someone. Can't you just- stop eating. Can't you just get off your butt. Can't you just.... NO! There is not a "can't you just" option in losing weight. Especially with someone who is a food addict/emotional eater. It takes time. It isn't laziness, it isn't stubbornness and it sure as hell isn't that they like being overweight... It is hard and takes time. It is a habit to break, emotions that one needs to face and the confidence in knowing that you can do it.<br />
<br />
That is my message... and I hope it is a good one.<br />
<br />
All I need to do is look at this picture and realize... I am not doing so bad. I also vow, I will never go back to this.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvK2wsprNP009HEonwp-WhqPXg1LBCZFWoj09Hbkvx6NSK78gs4Rs2GgDJKglbmc4RXZN9oCxsdz1dzE7L-J0gbOHJ31zOaZWaK8lH9lgz3HgfDp5RLGj3aFBxyT2gDM6B9D9GPTgGu44/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvK2wsprNP009HEonwp-WhqPXg1LBCZFWoj09Hbkvx6NSK78gs4Rs2GgDJKglbmc4RXZN9oCxsdz1dzE7L-J0gbOHJ31zOaZWaK8lH9lgz3HgfDp5RLGj3aFBxyT2gDM6B9D9GPTgGu44/s320/4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-61501991129664953352015-09-18T18:13:00.000-07:002015-09-18T18:13:27.570-07:003 years later... I come back.It has been 3 whole years since my first 5k run. I find myself sitting in the same spot, writing a blog post as I did that year. I still remember all the emotions running through my head that night. The excitement, the nerves and worry of not being able to finish the run. None of that even compared to all of the emotions that I felt crossing my first finish line. 23 runs later... I still have that feeling of amazement.<br />
<br />
<br />
I can't believe I am doing this crazy run again. The hills alone are intimidating! I do remember my friends telling me afterwards that I chose one of the hardest 5k courses to start with... but they were afraid to tell me that bc I might back out... the were correct! I did feel like quite the bad ass after finishing this run though! Feeling like that bad ass is what made me decide after that run... to run a half marathon. Glad I found one of my best friends to go along with that wild idea!<br />
<br />
<br />
This has been one of the craziest journeys I have ever been on... I am a runner. 4 years ago I would have never thought I would be where I am. I never had the idea to go as far as I have and I honestly never would have started w/o 2 friends that invited me over for dinner and told me this crazy thing... I could run and not just run... but run a 5k. They gave me a book that changed my life. I can never ever thank them enough for pointing me in this direction. It is a part of me now. <br />
<br />
<br />
I got myself started and I kept myself going, with a lot of support and advice from friends. The amazing group I run with and all of the runs that my family and friends have been at, I can't imagine this journey w/o them. They put up w/ my doubt, my complaints and the excitement over the little things. Little things that were big things for the woman that I used to be. I know many remember me texting or calling when I had run 2 blocks w/o having to stop and I still remember the first time I ran a full lap around the track. Mile after mile that I achieved, made me love it even more. I starting my goal at a block and turned it into completing 3 half marathons. <br />
<br />
<br />
So much has changed in the last 3 years. Not just my physical appearance, but the outlook of my weight loss journey. I am a more positive person and have changed for the better. However, I am not at my goal weight or where I had imagined I would be. I am struggling. Struggling to keep on track, struggling to be okay w/ not losing weight regularly and struggling w/ being happy w/ my appearance. However, I am still 1,000 miles from where I was 5 years ago... overweight and hiding from the world. I take comfort in that. <br />
<br />
<br />
I am so excited to run tomorrow. I know it won't be pretty, but I plan on having fun. I have learned that over the last 3 years... doesn't have to be perfect, it's all about the fun. Even though I won't have my usual group or the amazing cheering section... it is just me and my run and nothing can keep me from it.<br />
<br />
<br />
I have so many people to thank for helping me become the person I am today. I have no words that will ever be enough to say how grateful I am. You have kept me going when I thought I couldn't take one more step. Just thinking about that alone... makes me hold my head up high and move forward. Move forward with becoming a better person and not being ashamed of who I used to be. <br />
<br />
<br />
Best of luck to all the runners that will be running this weekend! First run or 100th run, I am proud of everyone that steps out there, doing what they love.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9zk1O3HriUxm5cvvCn9txWAKm3N849D9xlOlU10D2vSro01NfluFUgv7uAk_TZdWWw8Iw7HS2EPS054YWJdTmZmj9QiUtX6dr2YxEPvJH5Brm1JhkX19HYCs8cwP0FLnLEBLU6rHIER0/s1600/raceday8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9zk1O3HriUxm5cvvCn9txWAKm3N849D9xlOlU10D2vSro01NfluFUgv7uAk_TZdWWw8Iw7HS2EPS054YWJdTmZmj9QiUtX6dr2YxEPvJH5Brm1JhkX19HYCs8cwP0FLnLEBLU6rHIER0/s320/raceday8.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXkooA2DJcdWgMT5iz-vIg_jkiqtHD70tSgxJ-1tX1kNN85YFc9HPHEW8BqLo25TjV98JIH7TVD-pKjtubhwBRCcs1WJz41TfkFLtOjM39hyIn3gGik5O5BkGSORKWa_SqVyHlqh3txaA/s1600/raceday9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXkooA2DJcdWgMT5iz-vIg_jkiqtHD70tSgxJ-1tX1kNN85YFc9HPHEW8BqLo25TjV98JIH7TVD-pKjtubhwBRCcs1WJz41TfkFLtOjM39hyIn3gGik5O5BkGSORKWa_SqVyHlqh3txaA/s320/raceday9.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoa3cFt7p3Sy2GFVouBpajaZRdLkzIG68pH0FFXRE7jUUuwaivC7u4rzaWa5dzPjwbO0q11tUvLXurb8qgWRMkSooozwNbqLvba7pUDYAdwwyD8ycLhT7ziCoLkfjFJXsb3yIqYriPeFM/s1600/Raceday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoa3cFt7p3Sy2GFVouBpajaZRdLkzIG68pH0FFXRE7jUUuwaivC7u4rzaWa5dzPjwbO0q11tUvLXurb8qgWRMkSooozwNbqLvba7pUDYAdwwyD8ycLhT7ziCoLkfjFJXsb3yIqYriPeFM/s320/Raceday.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<br />
<span id="goog_383427915"></span><span id="goog_383427916"><br /></span>MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-87206829081784981592015-08-05T18:32:00.001-07:002015-08-05T18:52:14.146-07:006 Weeks in and Some Things Don't Always Go As You Plan...No matter how much you think and plan on how it will go. <br />
<br />
<br />
I know it has been quite a while since I have posted. Summer is always busy for everyone! Hard to find a "lazy summer day" anymore. <br />
<br />
<br />
I have been going to that new gym for about 7 weeks or so. (I week was free) I have 2 weeks left yet of the 8 week cycle. It has been an adventure! I have had a love and dislike of the classes on and off. (loving it more than not!)<br />
<br />
<br />
First off... I have NEVER gone this long w/o running, in 3 years. It has been hard and I may have whined... a lot (Sorry to my boyfriend and Chanel!) I did squeeze in a run or two though and even up and ran the Firecracker 4 mile run! <br />
<br />
<br />
The first week was flat out insane. I could barely stand when I got out of a chair. Slowly it got easier though and I have learned so much. The only equipment is kettle bells, boxes and a few other randoms that you find in a regular gym. Every work out has been different. That kept me interested. I never knew what I was doing on a Monday, however my favorite work out was always on Wednesdays... KICKBOXING! So much fun! <br />
<br />
<br />
All in all I have lost about 6 lbs. since starting. Not a whole lot and not the amount that I still have to lose to get to my lowest, but it is a start. I know I have built muscle and improved my balance. I feel better and feel I have stepped it up every week. (double kick on the bag, ow! ow!)<br />
<br />
<br />
SO! 2 weeks left and I think I am going to pass on the membership at this time. It is about to be prime season to run (for me lol) and already have the membership still at the gym where I work. I do not regret signing up for the 8 weeks at all. Like I said, I learned so much. I encourage everyone to try something they haven't! You may not like it, continue to do it or even hate it... but you are trying and you may learn something that you can take with you to the next adventure. <br />
<br />
<br />
Great expectations don't always pan out in reality...<br />
<br />
I also just had my 10 year class reunion. I know! I can't believe it was already here and gone. I have honestly dreamt about this day, probably since I have graduated. I promised myself I was going to come back and wow everyone. I am going to lose weight and not be the "fat girl" that I was. <br />
<br />
<br />
Well I did it. I came back and am over 100 lbs. less than I was when I graduated. I was nervous. More than I care to admit. However, the love of my life was by my side and my bestie and bestie in-law were there. (never get enough face time with them!) It was a fun night of visiting with old friends and having a few drinks (lots of drinks oy!)<br />
<br />
So my question... Why do I feel so empty? This was supposed to be the "perfect" night. I am not even close to the person I was before and met the "goal" that I set. So why can't I shake this sense of sadness? I set my expectation of how everything would go, so high... there was no way to meet it. <br />
<br />
<br />
I have also looked forward to it so long, I can't believe it is over. Always in the back of mind through the years was... "gotta do it for the 10 year class reunion." and "just wait until I walk in". I know, sounds a little conceded! Just being honest.<br />
<br />
I sit here tonight and think: I made the mistake many in my shoes make... thinking the weight loss will make me happy, the night perfect and everything okay. There will be no more insecurities, no more self doubt and no more "fat shaming" yourself. <br />
<br />
I know better: These things don't go away. They get quieter and come less often... but they are still there. Just because the night wasn't all that I built it up to be, doesn't mean it wasn't an awesome night of fun with old classmates and friends. I need to and will be happy with that. <br />
<br />
<br />
Positivity will get you everywhere. That I guess is where I need to go with this. Sure I am feeling lost and unsure about what is next (less so since typing this), but those thoughts won't be there for long. This journey has it's ups and downs, but if you don't keep that positivity and continue setting those goals, you will never make it. Harsh, but true.<br />
<br />
<br />
This blog has helped me really analyze some of the thoughts and feelings that I have had through this journey. I doubt myself less and don't bottle everything inside as much.It has helped me in more than a few ways and I hope that someone out there can relate and know... there are people who are there and who understand the issues. <br />
<br />
<br />
I may over share sometimes, but really... I need to be honest. Honest to myself and honest to anyone out there that may want to or has already started this journey. <br />
<br />
<br />
Keep your head up my friends!MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-77992914404605463452015-06-07T17:02:00.001-07:002015-06-07T17:19:31.531-07:00It Is Hard to Ask For Help...I changed my lifestyle on my own. I pushed myself and figured everything out for myself. Of course I had the support and advice from friends and family, but ultimately it was me. No trainer, no nutrition counseling and no doctors... just me, myself and I. I never could afford the big gyms, personal trainers and nutrition counseling when I started. Everyone has their own journey... this is how mine has been for 4 years.<br />
<br />
<br />
I have been trying to figure out how to change things up since I haven't been losing weight for a while. My old faithfuls are not working for me right now and ultimately it leaves me very frustrated.<br />
<br />
<br />
I have done a lot in the past few years. I ran 3 half marathons, did countless runs and even tried and obstacle course. I love running. It is a passion of mine. It just isn't enough to lose this last 50 lbs. I know my runs would be a whole lot better if I could get to that goal weight. The fact that it is summer now and the heat is here, it makes keeping up the running that much harder. <br />
<br />
<br />
So between the heat and the fact that I am at a loss of what to do next... I am asking for help. I have decided to join a gym that you go through 8 weeks of different types of fitness classes and nutrition counseling before doing the membership. It is pricey, which when I first started this journey... would have made it impossible for me to do, but I am at a place right now where I can swing the price. I think it is a great option at this time. It is just going to be incredibly difficult to focus on the classes and only running a day or two a week. <br />
<br />
<br />
They have a different class every day. The first one I am taking: Kickboxing :) SUPER excited for that one. I don't have a clue what they do as far as nutrition counseling, will update you on that once I go through it. I already know what I need to do for nutrition as far as that goes. What I am hoping to learn is the right nutrition for physical fitness. Again, I think that will help my running game with learning more about what to eat and when to eat to keep my energy up.<br />
<br />
<br />
Confession time: I feel like I am admitting defeat by doing this. I have always been able to figure out how to continue on this journey, but at this point I am at a loss. I am not getting results I should be getting from my workouts and diet. The motivation is there when I am on my own, just not where it was when I first started. I know I need this class to light a fire under my butt... I just feel like I failed some how.<br />
<br />
<br />
I know that is totally crazy, but I have been putting this off for a while because of these feelings. I have gotten too comfortable in thinking "I know what I am doing". I did lose 130 lbs. on my own... but that next level needs to be started to lose the rest and I just don't have it in me to do it on my own. <br />
<br />
<br />
I hope I will love this class. I do have some nerves with this as I am usually solo in my workouts. That self consciousness that I have had in the past is slowly creeping in. I have done fitness classes on a small scale... this is something completely new. As long as it isn't gym class all over again, I should be alright. Thank goodness I already have a good friend that attends!<br />
<br />
<br />
Here is to new adventures and hopefully being successful in losing the rest of this weight.MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-8534592001404880602015-05-26T19:13:00.001-07:002015-05-27T04:49:19.174-07:00Favorite Show... Brings Lots of Thoughts<div style="text-align: justify;">
Today is the first episode of the new season of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. I absolutely love this show and have yet to miss an episode. I have watched it from day one... when I was well into struggling through my own. I can relate to every one of the stories and I cry at the end of every single episode. I am just so happy for them and happy for anyone that can turn their life around and get healthy.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I sit here watching this show and itch to lose the rest of this weight. I didn't lose 130 lbs. in 365 days, but I am making it on my own. I have nothing to be ashamed of. The mood that I am in now is the frustration over wanting the rest of this weight gone. I want to be with the rest of them... the ones that met their large goals. I know, I know... I shouldn't be comparing my journey to anyone else's... can't seem to help myself. (Ha! Beat you to it lol)</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Maintaining is a huge thing. I have done that, for a while now. I have talked endlessly how I "just need to get over this plateau". I am just as tired of saying it, as you guys are of reading it. I haven't thrown in the towel, which a lot of people do once they get stuck. This is a lifestyle... not a fad. So no more plateau talk... it is about finishing it. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm cautious about my portions, but know I could be more diligent in making sure I am not over eating. I am not majorly training for any runs right now and need to find that happy medium for nutrition and fitness. Just trucking along until I get there... I will get there. I choose to be healthy and not get so frustrated that I give up. That isn't me... not anymore.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My new little trick that I learned from a friend is... Every time I go to the restroom, I do 10 squats. I drink a lot of water all day long, so let me tell you... they add up!! I love the idea of this and am hoping to get into a habit of it. I am guilty of forgetting sometimes, but that just means I have to do 20 the next time. Hopefully there is not a line for the bathroom! </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It is just one more little change that will hopefully get me to where I want/need to be. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Anyone else willing to add a few more squats into their life? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<strong><u><span style="background-color: purple; color: magenta; font-size: large;"></span></u></strong><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<strong><u><span style="background-color: purple; color: magenta; font-size: large;"></span></u></strong><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<strong><u><span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-size: large;">Quick story-</span></u></strong> I went on a Segway tour of La Crosse last week. While reading the paper work, I saw that there was a weight limit of 280... I would NEVER have been able to do this at my previous weight. 1 thy shyness... and 2... I was too heavy. The weird thing is, I felt a moment of panic when reading that. I then had to remember that I am 100 lbs. lighter than the weight limit... The weight can hold a person back from doing more than on realizes. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-89088897246666360282015-05-19T19:06:00.000-07:002015-05-19T19:06:05.160-07:00Let's Catch Up.I haven't posted much this year and my plan is to change that!<br />
<br /><br />
Honesty time... I am where I was the last time I posted. No lbs. lost, but maintaining. I have to remind myself almost daily that that is OKAY.<br />
<br /><br />
I have been trying to find some way to jump start the weight loss train again... In saying that, let me tell you what I did last month.<br />
<br /><br />
This last month, I tried shaking things up by doing a little intermediate fasting. I know, I know. I am ALL about "if you can't do it for the rest of your life, you shouldn't be doing it now.". I still am, don't get me wrong! However, I was intrigued by a documentary that I watched and decided to do a little research. After reading a BUNCH of articles and blogs, I decided to give it a try for a few weeks to see where it got me.<br />
<br /><br />
I did 2 days of 500 calories and 5 days of my regular 1300-1500 calories. Let me just say... it wasn't easy the first day! I didn't have any coffee... CRAZY! So after that I made sure to factor in some calories for my morning deliciousness.<br />
<br /><br />
I split my day to 200 calories during the day and a 300 calorie meal at night. I found a TON of recipes for 300 cal per serving. I now have a few more favorites for the recipe box. Anywho... I did this for about 4 weeks. First week I lost almost 5 lbs. right off the bat. The following weeks... not so much. HOWEVER- it was totally about losing weight for me. I wanted to surprise my body and say "WAKE THE HELL UP". Almost every article you read about losing weight, it states to shake things up a bit. Your body gets used to your daily routine. So that is what I did... in a big way.<br />
<br /><br />
Another thing I learned during the 4 weeks was that my portions were still at the point from when I was training for the half. I was training yes, but only for 6.5. I needed a wake up call to get me back into check for portions. <br />
<br /><br />
So! I am done with the fasting. Overall- It was good. Something I could do forever? Nope. Something I may use again? Never say Never. <br />
<br /><br />
This is my first week back to regular calories every day. I am interested in seeing how things shake out for the rest of the week!<br />
<br /><br />
This journey is NEVER boring. <br />
<br /><br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-52027698564572850042015-04-26T19:53:00.000-07:002015-04-26T20:21:54.432-07:00Not JUST a Relay... This next Saturday is the 3rd year that I have done the Granddads Bluff half marathon/relay. This year I am doing the relay and not doing the half marathon.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I am making myself stop saying "I am JUST doing the relay". I have been having an interesting time of things with not participating in the half marathon. I KNOW I needed a break with doing 2 last year... but I still have a pinch. A pinch of feeling left out of all the fun. However, 6.5 miles is nothing to be ashamed of! I get to start with my friends and be there cheering the loudest at the finish line!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
My friends and family are going to be there to support again! They have turned it into a party and I feel I will never be allowed NOT to do this run. Which I am totally fine with! It is such a fun day with everyone and there was no hesitation for my boyfriend (that travels so much) to be here for it. (Love him!) I have a soft spot for this run. It was the run where I feel I really came out as a runner... my first half marathon! It is the same with the Applefest 5k... first 5k ever. The memories are there.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I am ready for this run. More ready than I have felt for most of them. If I can just get over the whole "I am lazy for not doing the half marathon", it will be a fun time. With this weight loss journey I have been on, control is needed. A perfectionist, control freak... whatever you want to call it, I have needed to push myself. I know I can do a half marathon and have proved it 3 times. I have NOTHING to prove, so why do I feel all weird for not doing it? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span id="goog_66927683"></span><span id="goog_66927684"><br /></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-83360192154560009572015-02-23T18:21:00.000-08:002015-02-23T18:29:47.595-08:00Once An Emotional Eater... Always?I. Am. An. Emotional. Eater.<br />
<br />
<br />
There... I said it, admitted it and have owned it. I know there are many out there like me. I once felt the shame, but now have accepted it. I associate food with happiness, sadness, frustration and even boredom. I always thought it would be something that I could over come. If I had enough willpower, I would get to a point where I wouldn't have those urges... okay, so I am not always right.<br />
<br />
<br />
For the most part, I can override the habit of literally feeding my emotions. I can workout, run, shop (not the best either! lol) and find something, ANYTHING to not eat bc of my mood. Once I realized that I could distract myself enough to not indulge, I was pretty amazed. I don't always get past it though, I have miss steps, but at the end of the day, the thing we must focus on is... I am making better choices than I used to. <br />
<br />
<br />
The reason why I have brought this subject up, is the fact that I have had some interesting things going on lately. Some new, potentially exciting things and a little loneliness. It has made it difficult to not stuff the emotions with food. I have been letting those rollercoaster feelings run my decisions of what to eat and when to eat the past few weekends. I have caved, I have worked out... I have caved some more and shopped a lot. I am human. No one can expect a 100% on point healthy lifestyle. If you are... you are going to set yourself up for failure. I have survived my emotional eating and so will every emotional eater out there, that <strong><u>wants</u></strong> to. That is the main point.<br />
<br />
<br />
You have to want to get yourself past it. Hiding the emotions behind frozen yogurt and gummy bears (my food of choice this time around!) doesn't help anyone and sure as hell doesn't make you feel better after eating them. If you get that 90% of the time... you are golden. <br />
<br />
<br />
I shall take my 10% failure of the past few weeks and try to learn from them. Not saying I will never again allow my emotions to dictate what/when I eat... but I will try my damnedest to make it as infrequent as possible<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Don't strive to be perfect, no one is. Strive to be better than you were yesterday.MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-4994993026657795802015-02-01T18:36:00.002-08:002015-02-01T18:44:32.122-08:00Working Towards The Normal and A Little Conversation...My last post, I confessed that I had gained 6 lbs. in a few months. I was off my "normal" routine of working out and having calorie conscious meals. <br />
<br />
<br />
Since then, I have taken things extremely seriously and have logged my calories every day. Gotten to the gym every day that I normally would and have been more conscious of the choices I have been making. In saying allllll of that, I am happy to announce that I am back and only 2 lbs. away from my lowest weight. <br />
<br />
<br />
It is so easy to get lazy and lose that control over the healthy lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, my choices weren't horrible. Certainly not even near as bad as before I started losing the weight. However, they weren't the right choices to expect to still continue to lose weight. I am the first to admit to having control issues and wanting things perfect. It is something that I try to work on, but with still having 50 lbs. to lose, I have to keep some of that control.<br />
<br />
<br />
It is still going to take a bit to get in that healthy rhythm and get back to losing consistently, but I feel like I am in a different mindset. I am more positive about it and know that I am getting there. <br />
<br />
<br />
<h2>
Conversation piece...</h2>
<br />
<br />
I read this article the other day about "myths to achieving a healthy lifestyle". One of the "myths" they had was when people say that it takes "will power" to change a lifestyle. They did not agree with the notion and thought it was BS...I wholeheartedly disagree with their opinion over this.<br />
<br />
<br />
If anyone has a personal history of emotional/secret eating like I do, they KNOW that will power is one thing you have to have a whole lot of. One has to over think their decisions, stay in the habit of tracking everything and getting themselves to keep going. That is willpower and it is NEEDED to change any habit. <br />
<br />
<br />
When one already knows what they need to do to lose weight the healthy way and still doesn't do it bc of their personal relationship, emotional connection or just plain abuse of food, it is more than learning how to eat. It is about overcoming those metal blocks, insecurities and everything else that goes along with one's relationship towards food. <br />
<br />
<br />
What are your thoughts over this? Do you think willpower is important or BS? <br />
<br />
<br />
Would love to hear your opinions! <em>(ALL opinions are respected and welcome! Wither we agree or disagree about the topic)</em><br />
<em><br /></em><br />
<em>Check out my new recipe as well! Some deliciousness from the pantry. </em>MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-62858972512825854162015-01-20T19:06:00.001-08:002015-01-20T19:07:05.145-08:00I Will Be Happier Once I Lose the Weight...I have no idea how many times I said that to myself when I was over 300 lbs... 100? 200? Infinity?? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I would say infinity, because I am still saying it to myself. I have been in a major funk for weeks. Not losing weight like I had before is making me over think everything that I know. I can feel the insecurities building up. It has been a really big rollercoaster with trying to stay positive and getting so frustrated. Losing weight on a regular basis was amazing. I was so happy to see the scale, happy to get the compliments and happy to lose the dress sizes. Once that high stops... it is depressing to say the least.<br />
<br />
<br />
I hate to admit it... but here it is... I gained 6 lbs. in the past few months. It is painful to say, as I had prided myself of never gaining more than a few lbs. and that was always for a short amount of time. This time, I gained it and kept it on. <br />
<br />
<br />
I am working on getting it off, have actually made great strides and have 5 lbs. to go before I get to my lowest again. If I say this setback didn't make me panic... everyone and their mothers would know I would be lying. (this coming from the girl who cried big tears over eating French fries)<br />
<br />
<br />
This is real though. This is life. I am going to be gaining (only slightly!) weight and losing weight, the rest of my life. To think that I wouldn't, was naïve. I can't panic, stress out, get depressed or throw in the towel when this happens. I need to work my ass off to get back on a steady track.<br />
<br />
<br />
I have been feeling sorry, frustrated and angry... mostly at myself and my poor little scale for not showing the number I wanted it to. What I really needed to do was take a big breath and move forward. No more pouting, no more fits. Keeping my head up so I can live a happier life.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So that has been my secret. I've kept a smile on this face, but inside I was frustrated and upset. This journey isn't glamorous and there isn't always success. Hopefully this post helps others that get super frustrated. It isn't always going to be roses, you won't be happier once you lose weight... Life happens. There is always something that gets in the way. A lot of your happiness is based on how you handle the frustrating moments. Make those moments count and let it push you forward.<br />
<br />
<br />
<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1622627_799381243458737_8672802607463608511_n.jpg?oh=b6ead1f1707b812d6c8c4f46b7d2fce6&oe=55689ADA&__gda__=1429354215_f8d3e2eb3847b7a78ecabb60c2ce6f70" style="height: 554px; width: 367px;" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-4262725744139424682015-01-01T17:34:00.001-08:002015-01-01T17:34:12.064-08:00A New Year with NO Resolutions... First of all, let me just say... HAPPY NEW YEAR!! <br />
<br /><br />
This is the time of year where everyone is talking about their "new year resolutions". Everything from goals to be: nicer, more adventure, learn a new skill and the BIG ONE... Lose weight. <br />
<br /><br />
So, I gotta ask... What was your New Years Resolution from 2014? Do you remember? <br />
<br /><br />
I know mine was to reach my weight loss goal. Since I obviously haven't been blasting it everywhere, you can safely assume I did not reach that goal. lol <br />
<br /><br />
It hit me the other day that having a weight loss goal as a resolution is kind of like saying... "I will start on Monday..." Why do I need to make a resolution at the beginning of the year to lose weight? Why not continue on my journey? It is a lifetime thing, not just a year thing. To make a promise to myself about reaching that goal in 2015 would be setting myself up for a fail and a lie if I don't make it. I am not more motivated by making a resolution... I am more motivated with just trying to stay healthy and make good choices. <br />
<br /><br />
So I came to the decision... there will NOT be a resolution this year.<br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
"Wanna start the new year right??! well here is a weight loss solution for you..."<br />
<br /><br />
For the last 3 years I have seen the gym fill up to the max of new people starting their resolution for the new year... and every year I see them dwindle one by one until by March, I would say, it is back to the "regulars" at the gym. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing new people at the gym, but it has sadly become my expectation that more than half won't be coming back by the spring. The weight loss resolution has become so commercial as well. There is always sales on gym memberships, ads for fitness sales and the fad diets (everyone knows how I feel about those!!) are everywhere! It seems that this happens mostly at the beginning of the year. Especially in the stores where they promote the fitness equipment and new weight loss pill at the front of the store. It is very frustrating to see year after year. <br />
<br /><br />
Don't fall into the trap of "I am going to lose weight this year.". Make the decision to make healthier choices and you won't have to make a resolution that you may not meet. It is a more positive way to start off a new year!<br />
<br /><br />
What are your thoughts on new year resolutions? <br />
<br /><br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-37169467515322683072014-11-20T19:14:00.001-08:002014-11-20T19:15:34.964-08:00Holiday Eating Tips...#1Make the calories count! It is hard to eat "healthy" around the holidays... so eat smart!<br />
<br />
<br />
First tip ***Don't eat it unless it is worth it.<br />
<br />
Store bought (fill in blank)- Not worth it.<br />
Grandma's oatmeal fudge- Worth it.<br />
<br />
<br />
Don't deprive yourself of the special treats that you only get once a year. Those don't come around very often and is a real treat. I am not saying go all out and eat an entire cake, but indulge in a slice. If it makes you smile... go for it.<br />
<br />
Store bought rolls, desserts and salads? Leave it on the table. Things that you can/do eat all year round aren't worth the extra calories for the day.<br />
<br />
<br />
That is the first of many tips to get through the holidays w/o gaining! Stay tuned for the next one :)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-41495036592028010262014-11-03T18:30:00.000-08:002014-11-03T18:33:10.992-08:00My Doctor Says: Just Chill.Just chill... that is not something one usually hears from their doctor. However, that is the answer I got when I expressed my frustration over being stuck in this plateau for well over a year. She basically said that my body is happy, but don't give up. Just trying to live as healthy as I can is the only way the last of this weight will fall off.<br />
<br />
In saying that... let me catch you all up on the last few weeks!<br />
<br />
<br />
The half marathon was a few weekends ago. I had a LOT of fun and did pretty well. It was a very strange feeling at the starting line... I was calm. (I know right?) You usually don't hear that from me. I had come to terms that this was a fun run and the only goal I had was to finish it. <br />
<br />
<br />
I know I didn't train very well. To be honest I wasn't 100% into it bc it is really hard on my body and didn't take a huge break between the last one. The heat, the vomiting... I can give a ton of excuses of why I shouldn't have been ready, but I was. I was ready bc I was finally ready to just have fun. <br />
<br />
<br />
I finished in about 3 hours and had a fabulous time. I was bummed though that they ran out of beer at the finish line... really?! :)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="border-image: none; clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwezCn0CbvH_TFtvaHQBwkmWc00vTeXuymNdj5ppW0r0o2TicYiVeEyAa42RebrnFNmP1pI8Ts6H1VI9PurtFdvK6THLZvfa5bx0Mta23gqSqz6Nf12rJtfHAiF73BXxas4gfahhJBx7o/h120/022.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="jm-O-x" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwezCn0CbvH_TFtvaHQBwkmWc00vTeXuymNdj5ppW0r0o2TicYiVeEyAa42RebrnFNmP1pI8Ts6H1VI9PurtFdvK6THLZvfa5bx0Mta23gqSqz6Nf12rJtfHAiF73BXxas4gfahhJBx7o/h120/022.JPG" style="height: 120px; left: 0px; top: 0px; transform: rotate(0deg); width: 90px;" width="300" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_1262844764"></span><br />
<div style="border-image: none;">
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span id="goog_1262844764"><img alt="" class="jm-O-x" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwYSGpGNJRyuIQ_w2kuJAk7-K3QQ6MdxUbSvI-QYAoruoCb_x1x6gYpKNd_W9RUj5vzwrIHQfZK5cdaVNbmTB-aJEYGkvRPQK3hrhymmBEeAZ5k4pLIXuZ1wiKnMt4EzGI73CURH9Van4/h120/012.JPG" style="height: 120px; left: 0px; top: 0px; transform: rotate(0deg); width: 161px;" width="320" /> </span></div>
</div>
<span id="goog_1262844764">
</span>
<div style="border-image: none;">
<span id="goog_1262844764"><br /></span></div>
<span id="goog_1262844764">
<div style="border-image: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
I am still holding strong with the weight loss and haven't gained anything lately. I am OKAY with that. Not thrilled, but am going to stay "chill" like my doctor says. Now that the half marathon is over with, I am ready to have a healthy relaxing winter. No stressing about getting my distance run in at the track, feeling like crap after and not having a very flexible schedule. I see a winter filled with running on a treadmill for 3-5 miles, weight lifting and for sure some HOT YOGA (ow!ow!). Now that sounds like a nice relaxing winter. </div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
I have been trying a few new recipes lately and hopefully will get my favorites posted. There is nothing I like better than finding a tasty healthy alternative way of making things. My boyfriend would agree because I try these out on him so he gets a lot of good home cooked meals when he is home :) </div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
One thing I am really looking forward to though is the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving! It is an awesome tradition that I have with my friends. I don't visit family for this holiday and I usually spend it with my friends... running 5 miles! This will be the 3rd year and am already excited for those bloody Mary's after!</div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
One last thought...</div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
I saw this post below on one of my favorite Facebook pages (I <3 to run, check it out!) It made me really think about some of the conversations I have had in the past year or so. I feel a little that some forget where I started out. I have actually been told "you don't know how hard it is." when having a conversation with someone that wants to make healthy changes. (WTH?!) For the most part I listen and be supportive. Hey, I HAVE been there and I know the frustration one feels when trying to start this journey. But there is only so much I can do and say to help until all we are doing is talking in circles. I do remember how hard it was and all the excuses I fed myself too. Until I got rid of all the bullshit that I was feeding myself... I wasn't going anywhere. It took weighing over 300 lbs for me to finally get it. I did it for me and I hope that others will do it for themselves too. </div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
The post below is a little harsh, but it is what it is. Everyone has it in them to make their start. What will make or break you is how bad you want it and how hard you want to work for it. </div>
<div style="border-image: none; text-align: center;">
No. More. Excuses.</div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" src="https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/16126_812339225475614_5560048988426407945_n.png?oh=dab05786203691c6a3abfd595d611b83&oe=54EED9DF" style="height: 554px; width: 554px;" /></div>
<div style="border-image: none;">
<span id="goog_1301124925"></span><span id="goog_1301124926"></span><br /></div>
</span>MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1539990527677694736.post-85512088065150576672014-10-15T18:27:00.002-07:002014-10-15T18:31:35.122-07:00I Am Not Cut Out For This...I am declaring it now... This WILL be my last half marathon for a while. I need a break from the training and give my body a rest from running miles and miles. I got sick again tonight about mile 6. Barely ran 8 miles in 2 hours... I am in big trouble for next weekend. I am in the mind set now... I just want to run to come so I can get it over with. It can make running not fun for me and I don't want that! It is my stress reliever and shouldn't be causing me more stress.<br />
<br />
<br />
I am not cut out to continuously run distance. My stomach is the main concern. I should not be used to throwing up after ever distance run. That isn't fun! I will be happy with 3-5 miles. That is plenty for my short little legs!<br />
<br />
<br />
Okay, that was my big announcement. :)<br />
<br />
<br />
I am hoping to start posting more. I was having a pity party for one since I was struggling with the weight loss. I had gained from the vacation and was getting super frustrated. As a good friend reminded me over the weekend... I still can post about that stuff! Everyone can relate to the struggle... so I apologize for being so lazy!<br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<br />
<br />
I promise to keep my head up :)<br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
FUN FACT: I have now run OVER 700 miles (since I started counting with MapMyRun) That is CRAZY! Never would have thought I would be running, let alone this many miles! MsHollyAnnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10933786694737448056noreply@blogger.com2