Monday, March 24, 2014

Broken Record

I feel like a broken record. Always "starting over" and "getting back on track" and never really getting anywhere these days... as far as food is concerned.

I am doing well with the fitness, but as we all know, it is a balancing act between that and eating healthy. I am not counting calories like I did before. I am not measuring food either. I am coasting along with nutrition and not trying as hard as I used to. However, I am still making healthier choices by making sure I am choosing healthy food over the junk. That isn't enough though.

One can still over eat on healthy food. Sure you chose a salad... then you have yogurt, string cheese, apple and on and on. All healthy food, but the amount of calories still add up. I can be a "boredom eater", "Stress eater" (aw hell an emotional eater) sometimes and just eat because I want to. Letting my emotions run my nutrition is not healthy. Period. Even the foods that seem "healthy" can take me of track because I didn't look closer at the nutrition label. I always say I can be a control freak (not a bad thing sometimes). I have lost a little of that control I had over the healthier foods. Smaller portions and not eating when I am not hungry... that is where I need to rein things in.

This week the goal is to only eat the food I have planned for. Only the snacks I bring, only the lunch I made and only the dinner I planned. Nothing extra, even if someone brings food in. I used to be really good at turning things down, but I have gotten too "comfortable" with my choices. I need to get back into that routine. (broken record!)

A bigger goal isn't only better. Sometimes it is the trail of smaller goals that gets you to the ultimate one.

Next goal: No extra food for the week.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Losing Weight vs. Getting Fit?

That is always the question that runs through my mind when I get frustrated over the number on the scale. I have so  many people remind me, almost daily, that I am building muscle and that weighs more than fat... so the scale doesn't matter anymore.

That is a concept that I am not sure I will ever fully accept. I have lived by the scale since I started this journey. I admit, a bit obsessively. I get asked quite frequently ... "How much weight have you lost?" If I am not to measure my healthiness by the number on the scale... how am I to answer the question? How am I to feel like I am making progress?

I started doing hot yoga recently and have incorporated weights into my weekly workouts. I can tell a difference in my body already. Even though I have the excess skin, the muscles below that are there and becoming defined. I can even tell the difference when I run. My posture is better and the recovery is a lot faster than it was last year. The lbs. haven't changed, but my body sure has.

I recently had a night where I had a tiny bit of a melt down over gaining 2 lbs. It was one of those days where nothing was going right and I hopped on the scale to see where I was at for the day. I looked down and...I had gained. It just seemed like the last straw for that night. It didn't matter that I had just gotten done with hot yoga and was able to do a pose I hadn't been able to do before. It didn't matter that I fit comfortably in my size 10's and recently ordered bridesmaid dress 7 sizes smaller than the first one I had ever ordered. All that mattered to me in that moment was the number on the scale. It was an emotional low that I will unfortunately have more of. I can accept that... I can also accept the fact that I will always have someone in my life to help me out of those lows. I have so many people that help me when I feel frustrated.  I am also not the girl crying over French fries anymore, I am strong enough now, that I can bring myself out of those moments of frustration.

So back to the question of losing weight vs. getting fit... My body is capable of so much more than I have ever thought. Getting fit and proving to myself that I can do some pretty awesome things... that is what is most important to me. What is the point of losing the weight if I am not doing it in a healthy way and staying fit at the same time? I would rather have the muscles and be able to improve my physical fitness than lose an extreme amount of weight and not be physically healthy. Being skinny doesn't always mean healthy and that is something I forget quite frequently.

I will never not care about the number on the scale... but as long as I am healthy and can still see progress, I will be 100 times happier than I ever was 4 years ago.