Monday, June 25, 2012

Happy Dance...

The Monday weigh has left me... excited! I didn't see that dreaded number on the scale. In fact I lost 3 lbs. last week...! after gaining and losing the same weight for almost over a month, I feel super pumped!

This weekend I also went on a "shopping spree". I put quotations around that because my shopping spree consists of clearance racks and Good Will. There is no point in spending tons of money on clothes that will be too big in a few months. I got a lot of great deals on dress pants in a size... wait for it... 14!!! (I am not officially in that size, but I can get them on and zipped. They are just too tight to wear in public yet.) I decided to get prepared for my drop into the 14s. Buying business casual clothes has been the most difficult. I have to have a good variety to wear to work. I have been pretty lucky so far though!

I haven't been a size 14 since probably 8th grade. I remember one summer where I was losing weight (I was at the swimming pool everyday) and being so excited to fit back into a size 14. Wow, in 8th grade I was this size. Puts a lot of things into perspective and makes me realize how out of control I was.

I know a lot of people blame parents for their child's obesity problem. I can't and no one should blame my parents. They tried everything with us kids, even going as far as duct taping the refrigerator. (yeah I am embarrassed to admit that, but need to be honest) We just got the unhealthy treats from some place else and secretly eat it. I was embarrassed every time I went shopping with my mom bc I knew it wasn't right that I was a freshman in HS and had to shop in the plus size section. I remember being so excited when we discovered DEBS. It was the first time that I was able to wear clothes that were for my age, just an adult size.

Memory: Shopping with my mom and hearing her say..."I wish you guys could fit in those clothes. (points to the "regular" section of the store) It would make life so much easier..."
I remember on that day vowing to fit in those clothes. However, it would be years before I was able to.

Good thought: I now can fit in the "regular" section of the store. I went shopping with my mom and sister and we had so much fun shopping on both sides of the store. I even fit into an xl dress and almost started bawling in the dressing room. At that moment my mom said how proud she was of me. She has been one of my supporters with this and has said continuously how much I have motivated her and my dad. It is a good feeling.

I have lived up to my vow. I have a ways to go, but I am damn proud to be here right now.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Focus on the Fitness...

My new motto at this stage of the journey is Focus on the Fitness. I keep repeating these words when I get frustrated with the number on the scale.

This week I was stuck again on THAT number... that dreaded number that I HATE seeing on the scale these days. At this point in time I do not care if I only lose one pound next week. I do NOT want to see that number again.
End of rant...   :D

I had some pretty great work outs this week and have switched things up a bit. I did go to the track on Tuesday, even though it was well into the 90's outside, it was worth it. I wogged my mile in 14 minutes and 6 seconds. (ow! ow!) I felt great afterwards and got to come home to a nice cool apartment. (I left the a/c on for the day as a special treat)

It hasn't been all about the work outs this week, I needed to "focus on the food" as well. My small victory of the day yesterday was setting aside my mini can of diet soda. I decided I didn't need it in the afternoon and drank more water to get prepared for the heat outside. I know there are no calories in a diet soda, but as I focused on the fitness, I realized the water was more important.

This week for breakfast I have been  having my normal coffee and switching between toast and peanut butter and egg sandwiches. I have also been eating low calorie lasagna that I had made weeks ago and froze for future lunches. Dinner has been Texas caviar (salsa) with different items from potatoes to tortilla chips. Lots of  fruit and popcorn involved here as well for snacks. I am doing the best I can with what I have in the house. I wasn't able to get groceries last week, so not a whole lot of fresh food around here.

So all in all I am trying not to focus so much on the weight but to focus on my lifestyle.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

On the other hand...

I have still been struggling with the number on the scale. I lose and gain the same weight every week it seems. I am getting really frustrated with it and am not sure what to do about it.

On the other hand...

On a whim today, I decided to try my size 14 jeans on. I purchased these a month ago to get "prepared" to drop another size. I am happy to report that I can get them on and zipped (!!!).

Looking at both sides, I should be very happy that I am obviously still losing inches. I know I talk about this in every other post but: I need to NOT focus on the number on the scale so much. It is really hard not too, but I need to try harder.

Side note: I went to the High School track today for the first time this season. I wanted to see how long it took me to do a mile. At the end of last summer, I was doing about an 18 minute mile (jogging off and on) and was so happy with that. This year I did my mile in 14:11 minutes! I can even run a little over half the track without stopping. I don't ever remember a time that I could do that!

So as usually I am feeling a roller coaster of emotions. Down because of the scale and up because of the pants. If anyone ever says that a weight loss journey is only physical and not about emotions... they lie.

Keep your head up!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Looking back into the past...

I was looking at pictures from a few years ago. I have just been in a weird mood and getting frustrated with my progress lately. Looking at these pictures really put it into perspective of how far I have come. I look back at this person that I was and it is like looking at a stranger  now.

This is me a few years ago...

                                                                                                                   This is me a month ago...

Looking at these pictures side by side is  very emotional.
I still do not see myself as the person on the right, but I hope one day I will. I still imagine myself at my heaviest and still have those insecurities at time. However, I do understand that those memories will help me keep things in line. I NEVER want to look like that again.

Side note:

I have been getting a lot of inspiration lately from the book "I Got This" by Jennifer Hudson. When I finish a chapter I sit back and really think about the message. She is one confident lady and is a person that understands how hard it is to make better lifestyle choices. She inspired her family and friends and countless of other people. I get so much out of her book and would recommend the book to anyone who is going through their own weight loss journey. You do not need to be doing Weight Watchers to get the message. I personally am not on Weight Watchers and have really enjoyed reading about her experience.

Here is to a new week and new successes!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Just another Monday... weigh in

Finally Finally Finally!!! (did I mention finally? yes? well alright then) I am over my slump of weight loss. 3 lbs. down from last week and feel fabulous!

2 differences in last weeks fitness: Ran 4 blocks in a row w/o stopping
                                                                Walked my rent check over to the offices on Saturday.
You are probably thinking... that can't seriously make a difference. However, the 4 blocks is something I have never done before. I felt fantastic the rest of my wog and was ready to go. It proves how much better I am getting w/ my fitness. The walking the rent check to the office is a change in routine. It isn't too far away and I would always drive it over. Saturday was a beautiful day and I decided I needed to walk it over there.

 Small changes make a world of difference sometimes. Wither you take the stairs or park a little farther way from the store, it burns extra calories and gets you moving. Especially on days there isn't a lot of time to do a full work out. Anyone can have a small victory day!