Monday, January 27, 2014

Now I Am More Fun? No.

I had someone point out recently that I have changed... once again. The friend made a comment of how I am not super controlling of what I am eat/drink when out and about anymore. The meaning behind the statement was that I was always controlling of everything I eat and drank and conscious of my portion and now I simply am not. The friend didn't mean anything by it. Just a simple statement of "now you are fun.". Little did this person know that it would make me ask... What the hell am I doing?

At the time, that was news to me. I didn't think I had changed my habits and had just been having a busier social life... nothing wrong with that right? After really thinking about the events I have been attending, the food I have been eating, portions, drinks and more, it is no wonder I have been stuck in this rut of not losing any weight.

I used to worry about what I was going to order, what drinks I was going to have and even if I should eat before I left. I don't know when those thoughts went out the window, but I sure haven't been thinking about that stuff lately. Sure, my portions are still smaller than they used to be, but pair that up with some drinks and there you go, recipe for disaster (weight gain). It has been an endless cycle of losing the weight during the week and gaining the weight over the weekend. Thank goodness I haven't gained more weight than I could lose in a week... it has just been a never ending circle.

I know I can't be in control every minute, but I used to be so good at that. It was hard, but I would be able to keep within my rules I set for myself. Again, I don't know where my thoughts have been recently, but I need to snap out of this self indulgence.

Now that I am more aware of what I am doing (once again), it will be different. This just proves one cannot get "comfortable" in their healthier lifestyle. Things start to slip and healthy habits start going out the window (again).

A big thank you to my friend, who was blissfully unaware of how their statement would affect me. It is good sometimes to take a step back and realize where you are at with things.

Keeping my head up and moving forward.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Much Needed Picture Update!

You may notice a new look to the first page of my blog. My lovely and talented friends help make it what it is! Samantha took the pic and my awesome friend Erin took the time to update it for me.

Going back and looking at pictures help me refocus on how far I have come. I still have the doubt about how far I have to go yet, but those pictures make it worth it. I see myself everyday and in my eyes no changes have come about for a long time. (long long time)

I will get to that ultimate goal one day. Over all, the changes I have made in the last 3 years are HUGE. I feel like I have lived 2 different lives. Sure I have my doubts, but I have also never been happier, which is the main goal. (mind blown)

So thank you again to my amazing friends who help me get my story out. I greatly appreciate the time you take to help me look good!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Is It Good Enough?

I am feeling that self conscious "am I doing enough" feeling today.

With losing and gaining the same weight through out how many months, I am just wondering what it is that I need to do to move forward. It isn't about the number on the scale, the clothes are fitting the same as well. After having so many goals met and that awesome feeling of dropping a dress size... this feeling just plain sucks.

After all those positive thoughts... I look in the mirror. Still feel like I look big, my skin is drooping and I can't see any changes. I am pretty self conscious about the skin and have worried about that for awhile. Nothing I can do about it and I am finally starting to accept that. However still feeling big after losing 130 lbs? sounds pretty nuts, but the thoughts are there. That is where the question comes in... Am I doing enough? What more can I do and what do I need to change? ... At this time I don't have those answers.

This journey has a lot of emotional ups and downs, I guess I am just having a downward swing this week.

Tomorrow is a new day. A new day to feel inspired and motivated. I hate negative thoughts, so they better not stay around for long! :)

Try to keep your head up and move forward.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Maybe Learning?

I worked out tonight.

Nothing unusual about that statement. I normally workout on a regular basis, sure. What makes this statement a little more important, is the fact I worked out the day after running distance... lessons learned.

Last year when training for the half marathon, I was always so sore after and wouldn't work out the next day, not even a little. That always threw off my schedule of when I worked out and sometimes went 4 days in between getting my fitness on. I think that is one area I made a mistake with. I always had to start over the next time at the gym and it made it harder every time.

Yes, my body needs to rest after such a run. However, I can still do core and other exercises the next day. My workouts don't stop because I am sore, I need to keep moving to build on. I do not mind the sore muscles bc I know I am improving my health! I am hoping this is the start of a new routine for training and doing things a little smarter this year.

I ran half of a half marathon last night. (aka 6.6 miles) It was a hard run since I haven't been on the track in 2 weeks and barely been in the gym bc of the holidays. The hardest part is starting over. Once I have the momentum, it gets to be a normal weekly routine for me once again. I am on my way!

Favorite smoothie so far: Almond milk, ice, vanilla Greek yogurt and peanut butter.... MMMMHMM! Soo delicious! It was a great treat after a butt kicking run.

Keep your head up.

Monday, January 6, 2014

No Backing Out Now!

Just registered for the half marathon on May 3rd 2014!

This year I am focused. I know what I am doing, what needs to happen and where I am going. I want to focus on improving the amount of time I run and of course... HAVE FUN.

Stay tuned for training stories...

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Smoothie Adventure to Spice Things Up...

Here we go! Finally starting something new to mix my daily routine up a bit. I have been in such a rut with the same food, same workout and not enough motivation.

I got a Magic Bullet blender for Christmas and made my first smoothie ever today! It was pretty good. I do think there will be some trial and error with the flavors though. I got a lot of great suggestions from friends and family as far as different combinations and how to store them for lunch. (Friends and family are always a great source of information!) I also tried almond milk for the first time and LOVED it. I am not a fan of dairy milk, so having this alternative is fantastic.

Ingredients for the first smoothie: Strawberries, peanut butter, almond milk and spinach. (Kind of tasted like pb&j)

So with this new smoothie adventure, I am hoping it will get me more excited about food. I have been eating the same things for a while and haven't found any new recipes to spice things up. I feel like last year was all about the running and nothing about the food. Don't get me wrong, I still made healthy choices, but I was in the "I know what I am doing" mentality. When you are "assuming" you are doing things correctly... the portions seem to creep up and the "cheat days" seem to increase. That is what I want to prevent this year.

One thing I also have left at the wayside is reading articles and other books on living healthy. Wither it be about running or a person that lost a significant amount of weight, those stories are so motivating to me and I need to find more of those! Nothing inspires me more than reading about someone else's healthy journey.  (Any suggestions of articles, blogs or books would be appreciated!)

So here we go, another year for small victories. Getting back to the basics and the healthy living mentality that has brought me this far. Still about 50 lbs. to lose and I would totally be lying if I said it didn't matter if I lost those 50 this year. I want it gone, I want to move forward and I want to feel that excitement again.

Cheers to a new year and keeping your head up.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year... Same Goal

Happy New Year! Who is ready for 2014 to be THE year?

Everyone knows that at the beginning of the year, many people set that "new years resolution" goal to "lose weight". This also means that the gyms get packed, tons of weight loss products on the shelf and even more commercials on the "quick easy weight loss" remedy that someone has created. Most stick with it for a few months and then by March it is over.

If there is one thing this journey has taught me, is that you can't rely on the "New Years resolution". I am starting my 4th year of living healthier and have had a lot of ups and downs. It takes a lot more than saying... I am going to lose weight for the new year. Things need to be planned, smaller goals need to be made and one needs to be fully committed.

A New Year, but the same goal for me... Live as healthy as I can and get to that goal weight. That is what I am focusing on this year. 2013 I focused so much on the half marathon and strayed away from the basics. Didn't gain, but didn't lose a whole lot either. I feel refocused this year. Still doing the half, but have realized there is more to living healthy than just training. There is a balance to be had and I plan on being committed to that.

 I will forever be learning about this journey and finding myself in the process. I can't wait to see what 2014 has for me.

How are you going to make it YOUR year?