Sunday, August 26, 2012

What did I sign up for??

The running... oh the running.
Last week I started using I love that website. It is so easy to get your route mapped and be consistent with your running. I am unable to go to the track anymore w/ football practice starting after school. I liked the track bc I knew how far I had gone and all that. Now mapmyrun takes care of it.

I ran and timed my first 3 miles on Thursday this past week. I had actually gone out on Tuesday and ran, but ended up only doing 2.7 miles by mistake... oops!

I ran my first 3.11 miles in 43:13. I actually almost gave up, multiple times. I wasn't hydrated enough and about halfway threw I just was over it. I was so tired and thirsty... I just wanted to sit. I kept going though and pushed through. It sounds kind of cheesy, but the song "The Fighter" by Gym Class Heroes came on  my ipod when I was getting over the hill. I was fighting to finish and that song kept me going. So, I finished my first 3 miles and I was pumped! Sore, dehydrated and wanting to vomit... but I was excited!!

I took 2 days off after that. Friday I didn't workout at all. I needed a rest day. Saturday I got up and went for a nice walk on the trail by my new place. It was so relaxing going out at 8:30 a.m. while it is still cool and going for a walk.

That bring me to today. I went out and ran another 3.11 miles. I did a lot better in terms of running more often. However, I got to that hill again and AGAIN I said "I can't do this!". I started walking and then running for a few seconds and walking again. I knew I could do better. I got to a point where I chanted over and over in my head (and out loud a bit)... "What are you going to do when you see the finish line? Give up or push?"  so, I kept repeating..."Give up? or push?... I pushed. I finished it out in 42:34.  Better than my first time out and better than I thought I was going to do.

So the training continues. The race is September 15th. I hope I am going to be ready. At this point I am still nervous I won't be able to finish. I have so many people supporting me and I don't want to let anyone down.

Side note: Still obsessing over the scale!! So this week I am trying something new. (not really new, but I am going to stick with it). After the morning weigh in... the scale is getting put under the sink and staying there until Friday morning. I really don't feel I can handle a whole week w/o knowing what my weight is, so I will go for a few days. That is sad, but I am being honest. So! A few days without obsessing over the number will be good for me.

Anyone else have that problem of obsessing over the number???

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Watching and thinking...

Tonight is the last episode of the season for Extreme Makeover: Weight loss Edition. I never miss an episode and tonight is no different. I usually find something that I can relate to in the journeys that these people have. Wither it be the journey itself or the things they had to deal with when being overweight.

This episode the man on his journey is a very positive person!  The moment that stuck out with me so far (and motivated me to write this post) was when he was riding a bike and the seat broke. He was embarrassed and felt down. That is one of the biggest fears for an overweight person.

How I relate to it: When I was at my heaviest and even before then, I was always worried about not fitting in booths at restaurants, having a chair break while I was sitting in it... things like that. There were more than a few times that I was at a restaurant and wasn't sure I was going to fit in the booth.  After a certain point whenever I was asked if I wanted a booth or table, I made sure to answer right away with table. I even started to convince myself and  others I felt too "closed in" when sitting in a booth. The truth? I wasn't sure I was going to fit.  Then there was the embarrassment of my friends knowing I was having a hard time fitting and then trying to squeeze my way back out.
That is one thing I have never told anyone else.I wish that I would have been able to use those experiences to  make a lifestyle change.

I have held myself back from doing so many things because of my weight. I have a fear of trying them still because all I can think... am I still too heavy for this?

I can think of many times where I was embarrassed because I was too heavy or told people I "didn't want" to do something because of the fear I wouldn't be able to because of my weight. I am hoping soon I will feel comfortable enough and not have those anxieties.

They just showed the man on his journey swimming. That was his first time on the diving board since breaking it the last time. He looked so happy!

This episode really hit home with me. All I can say is I am glad I am finally on the right track. Who knows? Maybe a roller coaster or a water park is in my future?

Friday, August 17, 2012

Another first...

Throughout this journey I have had a lot of firsts... first time taking zumba class, first time in a hot air balloon (epic) and now I can add another first... First time running a mile w/o having to stop! I have NEVER done that before. I don't know what got into me. I just kept pushing... wondering how far I could go.
I am so pumped for this and it makes me want to get out there again to see what I can do. This just proves that hard work pays off and if you really want something you NEED to work for it.

Keep your head up and you will get there!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Big New Adventure!

So here goes... A couple of weeks ago I officially signed up to run my first 5k... !

I know I posted on here before about being very inspired by the book "Born to Run". Ever since then I have felt the need to start running as part of my fitness. I never knew how awesome it would feel and what a stress reliever it was!

To date (as in today!) I can run 2.5 laps (over a half mile) without stopping and having to walk. I can run/walk my mile in 13:02 to date (as in today!) I know I am not that fast or even running the entire thing. The most important thing for me to remember is... I am trying.

I have been keeping up with "focusing on the fitness". I still have a tiny obsession with weighing myself every day. (No worries, Mondays are still my "official" weigh in day!) Tracking my time for the mile has been awesome and very good for me. Every time I get out there I want to beat my previous time. I accept the fact when I don't... but I go home smiling when I do!

Today I am only 7 lbs. away from weighing 199 lbs. Yeah that is right, under 200 lbs.! Every time I think about where I started, I get choked up. Recently when I think about running the 5k... I get choked up. I am scared I won't finish it... but excited over the possibility.

I will keep you updated on my training for the big day.Cheers to the future and surviving the 5k!

Blast from the past:

I think about the days when we would need to run the mile in school. I HATED that day with a passion. I was over weight, slow and was always the last one to finish. Even after all that I thought I could go out for volleyball. One memory I have from practice: We would run laps around the track in a line. The last person in line would sprint to the front... and then so on. I HATED that because I could never sprint to the front. I could never run a full lap, it was heartbreaking to me... but again not enough to push me to make a lifestyle change.

Monday, August 13, 2012

New Home: New Start

Well, it is the Monday after I moved. All I have to say is WOW, what a week!

I didn't go to the gym for a week. I was feeling so sluggish by the end. I still went on a walk at work and did a few things at home, but the gym is so much part of my life now... I miss it! (I NEVER thought I would be saying words like that!) I was still able to lose 1 lb. I will take it.

So it is a new week and a new beginning. I plan on getting back into my routine of gym, track, gym, track. I know I will feel better once I get a good workout in.

Of course I am even more motivated by watching EM: Weight loss Edition. It is a great thing that the show is on on Sundays. Every time I watch it I think: I can't wait to get to my goal weight. It refreshes my motivation for Monday and I am ready to go again.

Let's do this!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Thoughts at Midnight...

So while I was trying to go to sleep last night a thought hit me. I will be moving this weekend. It has been almost 2 years to the month that I moved into this place. The person I was moving in, is NOT the person that is moving out.

First... I have a couch now. I did spend 6 wonderful months (insert sarcasm when reading) having lawn chairs for furniture until I could afford the couch I wanted.

Second... I have my career going and got my CCS-P certification. I am more financially stable and less stressed over money.

Third... I weigh over 100 lbs. less than I did when I moved in here. I started my lifestyle change in this little apartment and grew into the person I am today.

I am more of a positive person, more of an out going person and am ready to see what the future holds for me now.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

My excuse...

This is moving week for me. I feel like I have 100 things to do and not much time to do it. I have chosen (yes chosen) to not go to the gym this week so I can get everything done. I am hoping for a walk here or there, but will not have my full workout.

I am not making excuses for myself and that is the reason why I say this is my choice and not listing a bunch of reasons why I "can't". I feel if I state it this way I am being truly honest with myself and not hiding behind a smoke screen.

SO! No gym, that means I need to focus on the other aspect of a healthier lifestyle: the food. I got a bunch of frozen Smart Ones for lunch and all that. Not the best choice, but my kitchen is all packed up! I at first was just going to grab a sandwich here and there, however I feel that it would be a set back if I eat out all week. I feel solid in my decisions and will hopefully keep on track this week.

I am so happy to move! It is an upgrade from the decent apartment that I have at the moment... and it has way more room!

Positive things are happening this week.

Have you ever heard yourself talking about why you "can't" do something and then later realize you could have made it work? (many times in my book!)