Tuesday, May 28, 2013

I NEED Routine...

I have had a really hard time to get back into my groove after having an upper respiratory infection. My schedule being all over the place and not having my routine has helped me stay unmotivated as well. I am not having my typical meals, working out right after work or even drinking the amount of water that I am used to. I have really realized how much routine is very very important to me.

I have gotten back into Insanity and have vowed to complete the workout. I am pretty good at keeping my goals when I set them. I only have 1 more week of my off schedule, then I should have my normal routine back. Excuses. I hate excuses, but at this point... it is what it is. I lost my motivation for a bit, but I am determined to get back.

I also had a realization this past weekend. I am still worrying about how my weight affects the activities that I do. Silly after running a half marathon. I still have this fear of being embarrassed and having people make fun of me. Just the thought of having to play a sport and/or run in front of people I didn't know... broke me and brought flashbacks of being the fat kid in gym class again. I remember praying that it would rain when it was an activity that was outside that I didn't want to do... like running the mile. The insecurities that I had back then... still hang around... which was a total shock to me.  I was still living off my half marathon and the things I have accomplished so far. I kind of realized now that I thought I "had this". I have done a lot true... but I am not done. I can't coast the last 50 lbs. off.

This opened my eyes and made me realize that I am not always going to be 100% positive and that I am not 100% confident. I will have my melt downs yet and my insecurities... thank goodness I have good people to bring me back to reality.

So after my emotional shock and currently watching my favorite show: Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition... I want my motivation back. I want my routine back. I want that fire back... I feel like I am getting back into that mentality and ready to do this!

"Do Epic Shit."

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