Sunday, February 24, 2013

Train Insane OR Remain The Same...

I saw this line and thought... this is what keeps me going. That worry about staying the same or going back and being the person I was before...

 I was so down on Thursday after my 10 mile run. I felt horrible after and it has been that way for a few weeks. By horrible I mean sick. I had been throwing up after running or being so sore and achy that I couldn't sleep. On Thursday I questioned myself on my decision to sign up for a half marathon. I just wasn't sure if my body could actually do this. Can I work hard enough to accomplish this? As soon as the nausea fades and the aches are iced and not so bad, that is  where my mind clears and says "yes I can".

It has been hard. There is no denying that, but I think it is worth it. Actually, I know it is worth it. I am going to accomplish something that the old me NEVER would have even thought to do. The me from even a year ago wouldn't have thought about running a half marathon, I hadn't even thought of the 5k yet. (That thought puts things into perspective!) This time last year I couldn't even run a mile yet and today I went for a "short" 2.5 mile run w/o being worn out. That is how far I have pushed myself in the past year.

So there is the fitness and goals for that.  As far as the weight goes... I have been stuck. Still stuck in the late 180's. I can't say I don't know why I am there. I know there has been stress lately and I have been eating and drinking more on the weekend then I usually do. I need to find that happy balance between the fitness and the food. It is like I can only focus on one or the other lately and that isn't helping. I lose the weight during the week and then ruin it on the weekend. I haven't gained to where I am worried I am off track... it is just keeping me from moving forward with the weight loss. I am so damn close and I don't know where my mind is on things right now. I am so focused on the race and  that has been all I have been thinking about with my lifestyle.

Lots of doubts and lots of thoughts from the past week. I am hoping for a new beginning this week and a move closer to my ultimate goal of not being over weight. Yes the half marathon will be an amazing thing, but the real goal is for me to be healthy.


  1. You bet you are worth it, anytime you doubt yourself just look how far you have come. And look how many you are inspiring! You go girl!