Well, it is that time again. The day before one of the biggest runs I will ever do. I am sitting here thinking about last year and how emotional this whole journey has been.
Thinking about the tears, the doubts and over all emotional rollercoaster that was my training last year, it seems like ages ago. I didn't know if I would make it, I didn't know if that was what I wanted to do and if it was in me to finish. This previously 300 lbs. girl was going to try to run something that most people wouldn't even try. I was mad for making the goal, amazed that I was actually doing it and sure that I wasn't going to make it... but I did. I got over my doubts, proved to myself I could and crossed that finish line with pride and amazement.
The friends and family who helped me achieve that goal are priceless to me. The support, encouragement and all out faith they had in me can never be repaid. Seeing them at the finish line and there for one of the biggest moments of my life, I can't even put into words what it meant to me. They knew something that I didn't that day... I would make it.
This past year has been just as much of an emotional rollercoaster as last year. There is one difference though... I have more faith in myself. It has still been hard on my body, still have my doubts and still have those tears. The pressure is off of wondering if I am going to make it though. Sure, I still have a little doubt, but deep down...I know I will. The training was just as hard on me this year as it was last year. How can it not be when I am running 10 plus miles on a regular basis? There were less runs though of having to make myself get out there. I can't explain why this year is so different and how I am more mentally prepared for it... I just am.
I am going to have a large group of friends and family there for me tomorrow. It still brings tears to my eyes knowing everyone that is standing behind me 100% I have family coming from out of town and my friends that are driving hours to be here for me. My boyfriend that will be coming back specifically for this and my local friends willing to get up early to meet me on the route and at the finish line. I absolutely love them all. They will never know how much this means to me to see them there. They inspire and motivate me to get to that finish line and complete something I had never dreamed of only a few years ago.
2 years ago I had this lovely couple invite me over for dinner, loan me a book and help me take my journey to that next level. I never knew they would help me find my love of running. They have supported, encouraged and knew before I did, that I could do this. The same goes for my training partner (aka partner in crime). If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have made it last year. We didn't train together this year, but we still are running, still encouraging each other.
So many others have helped me through this training, they know who they are. Couldn't have made it with out their advice, encouragement and listening to my endless whining at times. The endless texts, endless running posts and endless talking about running... my friends are patient as all heck. :)
So here I am again, the day before the big run. I am sipping my coffee and thinking about the past and wondering what is ahead in my future.