I am feeling that self conscious "am I doing enough" feeling today.
With losing and gaining the same weight through out how many months, I am just wondering what it is that I need to do to move forward. It isn't about the number on the scale, the clothes are fitting the same as well. After having so many goals met and that awesome feeling of dropping a dress size... this feeling just plain sucks.
After all those positive thoughts... I look in the mirror. Still feel like I look big, my skin is drooping and I can't see any changes. I am pretty self conscious about the skin and have worried about that for awhile. Nothing I can do about it and I am finally starting to accept that. However still feeling big after losing 130 lbs? sounds pretty nuts, but the thoughts are there. That is where the question comes in... Am I doing enough? What more can I do and what do I need to change? ... At this time I don't have those answers.
This journey has a lot of emotional ups and downs, I guess I am just having a downward swing this week.
Tomorrow is a new day. A new day to feel inspired and motivated. I hate negative thoughts, so they better not stay around for long! :)
Try to keep your head up and move forward.
How did you get in my head?!? I'm feeling all these things too. And then I've got some people that are saying things like, "Well, you look fine now!" so sometimes it becomes easy for me to rationalize staying this weight. But if I am honest, I know that I still have the weight to lose. But like you, I keep gaining and losing the same few pounds. And like you, sometimes when I look in the mirror, I still feel big and also feel discouraged by all the droopy skin. But then the next day I can think I look decent! It is such a roller coaster, but I can't tell you how much it helps to have someone like you along for the ride that is going through the same thing! Sometimes I just need to know I'm not the only one thinking these things. And that is why you should seriously consider moving to North Carolina near me ;) lol
ReplyDeleteYou are so incredible, Holly and I really hope you realize that. Tomorrow IS a new day, and I know you are going to make it a good one!