Monday, July 29, 2013

The Insecurities in Trying Something New Once Again...

Why do I feel the need to put myself in these situations?? I know I will never know what I am capable of unless I try... but that gut wrenching feeling of trying something new is unbearable sometimes...

I agreed to do a Zombie Quarantine run next month. I don't do obstacle courses. At all. I am not a fan of the unknown and that is exactly what I got myself into. My friends (who I love dearly!) talked me into it... okay I was called a wuss and someone pulled the birthday card on me! I couldn't say no. So now I am freaking out.

I started running again after a 2 week break for heat/business. I was dumb and tried to do it w/o water tonight. NOT SMART. Calling myself out: I only did a 3.4 mile run and I had to walk a few times. I will get my shit together for the next run.

The fact that it is a team challenge is another added affect to this... what if I hold them back from having fun? If I can't do something, does that affect the team? I don't want others to be disappointed if I can't do something... I know I am the only one thinking these things... but I can't seem to help myself!

My freak outs come and go. One minute I know it will be fun and the next I am back in gym class trying (and failing) at jumping a hurdle and swinging on the rope during an obstacle course. Being the fat girl in gym class once again.

To some this isn't a big deal... to the girl that was over 300 lbs. (some forget that sometimes) it is a huge deal. It is just one more thing to conquer I guess.

 I will put my big girl panties on and get this done... and quietly freak out before hand...

1 comment:

  1. ...and after you will look back and think about what an amazing time it was! :)