Holiday weekends. Gotta love them. Great memories are made, lots of laughs, spending time with your favorite people and... eating and drinking way too much.
I have those days, I have those weeks. I have been handling them a lot better than the first time I had a splurge weekend. No crying over French fries this time! I feel bad about it all. It could have been way worse, I was thinking about the amount of the not so healthy food I was eating. Which did keep me in check with a lot of things. Unfortunately it was all really salty stuff. Food that I am not used to eating and food that can still make me feel guilty. Or rather, I make myself feel guilty for eating it.
I have had those days and have gotten past it. This time it had a little more effect on me. I had to try on my bridesmaid dress for a wedding that I am in in 2 weeks. I love the dress, but unfortunately it doesn't fit at the moment. You know that sizes of dresses are all different, especially for bridesmaid dresses. For my cousin's wedding I had to have the same dress size taken in. This one is just a bit snug and doesn't zip all the way. I have had anxiety over trying the dress on since I got up this morning. I knew. KNEW that it wasn't going to fit and that it may be worse than it was before.
I went over to T's house to have her start doing the alterations. I was trying it on and of course I couldn't get the zipper all the way up. I turned and looked in the mirror... and my stomach dropped. Right then and there I had a flashback to another bridesmaid dress at another time... Having to order the largest size the dress came in and then having to buy a shawl in the same color. Reason for that? It still needed to be let out. It was humiliating and standing on that step to have the lady try to figure out how she was going to make this dress look good on me. Once again... it wasn't the spark I needed to change my life yet.
I don't ever want to feel that way again. I KNOW I am not even close to the size I was when that happened. The combination of feeling guilty over the indulgent weekend and the dress still not fitting was just too much.
T did tell me she could do a little tweaking and it will look fantastic. She said not much needed to be done. Which was fantastic news. I was waiting for her to tell me she couldn't take it out as much as it needs to be. I was waiting for the worst news of... you need a bigger size. It didn't happen and that is all that matters.
This week is a new week and a time for me to get back to being me. Holidays and going out of town always throw a person of. It wasn't a totally horrible weekend food wise, it was just more in my head. Yes I gained, but I am sure a lot of it is the salt. Back at it tomorrow with even more motivation to get that dress to fit.
Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend!