I need to start from square one. Here is the reason why...
A few weeks ago, my appendix decided to throw a fit and needed to be evicted. Not something I was expecting. (which no one is!) The surgery went well though and I am on the mend. However, what these means is that I have needed to time to heal and have not been able to workout or run as I was before.
I felt like I was just starting to get back into running on a regular basis, right before this surgery. Now it has been about 3 weeks since the surgery and have been able to go on walks a couple times a week, but that has been about it. I have one more week of weight restrictions and then I am able to slowly get back to it. This is the longest I have gone w/o working out. It has been maddening to say the least!
I have been trying so hard to keep my calories under control. I have not been perfect, but have been using my loseit app and been counting calories. I haven't gained weight as I thought I would, since I was not active, but I haven't lost any of it either. If you have read my previous posts, you know I am not happy where I am at today w/ my weight. On one end I should be happy though, that I haven't gained a bunch of weight, but on the other end I am just stuck where I have always been stuck. It is frustrating.
Tomorrow I am going to go to the gym for the first time in a few weeks. My plan is to hop on the elliptical and hopefully get a decent workout in. I am hoping it won't be as jarring as running would be at the moment. Unfortunately w/ the excess skin/fat and the motions of running, it is not ideal for the incisions that are still a little tender. (TMI I know! lol) I am trying to not push too hard, but I need to do something. It just feels like starting over. I am not going to be where I was physically before... so it is going to be a lot of hard work once again. Well, it is always hard work, it is just going to be harder not just physically but mentally.
On another note...
I was asked once again to be a guest speaker for my friends college class. I will be sharing my weight loss journey and I am honored to be asked. I am nervous though. To be perfectly honest, I feel like a fraud right now. I have not been losing weight consistently, I have had my bad days with food... it is just hard to look back and see how far off I am right now. HOWEVER, this is so good for me. I need this. I need to look back and tell my story not just so others understand where some people are coming from as far as weight struggles, but also to remind myself that I am no where near where I started and that... I am doing okay.
The biggest message that I want to give to others while sharing my story...
Never say "can't you just" to someone. Can't you just- stop eating. Can't you just get off your butt. Can't you just.... NO! There is not a "can't you just" option in losing weight. Especially with someone who is a food addict/emotional eater. It takes time. It isn't laziness, it isn't stubbornness and it sure as hell isn't that they like being overweight... It is hard and takes time. It is a habit to break, emotions that one needs to face and the confidence in knowing that you can do it.
That is my message... and I hope it is a good one.
All I need to do is look at this picture and realize... I am not doing so bad. I also vow, I will never go back to this.