Tuesday, January 20, 2015

I Will Be Happier Once I Lose the Weight...

I have no idea how many times I said that to myself when I was over 300 lbs... 100? 200? Infinity??

I would say infinity, because I am still saying it to myself. I have been in a major funk for weeks. Not losing weight like I had before is making me over think everything that I know. I can feel the insecurities building up. It has been a really big rollercoaster with trying to stay positive and getting so frustrated. Losing weight on a regular basis was amazing. I was so happy to see the scale, happy to get the compliments and happy to lose the dress sizes. Once that high stops... it is depressing to say the least.

I hate to admit it... but here it is... I gained 6 lbs. in the past few months. It is painful to say, as I had prided myself of never gaining more than a few lbs. and that was always for a short amount of time. This time, I gained it and kept it on.

I am working on getting it off, have actually made great strides and have 5 lbs. to go before I get to my lowest again. If I say this setback didn't make me panic... everyone and their mothers would know I would be lying.  (this coming from the girl who cried big tears over eating French fries)

This is real though. This is life. I am going to be gaining (only slightly!) weight and losing weight, the rest of my life. To think that I wouldn't, was na├»ve. I can't panic, stress out, get depressed or throw in the towel when this happens. I need to work my ass off to get back on a steady track.

I have been feeling sorry, frustrated and angry... mostly at myself and my poor little scale for not showing the number I wanted it to. What I really needed to do was take a big breath and move forward. No more pouting, no more fits. Keeping my head up so I can live a happier life.

So that has been my secret. I've kept a smile on this face, but inside I was frustrated and upset. This journey isn't glamorous and there isn't always success. Hopefully this post helps others that get super frustrated. It isn't always going to be roses, you won't be happier once you lose weight... Life happens. There is always something that gets in the way. A lot of your happiness is based on how you handle the frustrating moments. Make those moments count and let it push you forward.

1 comment:

  1. Was so nice seeing you last weekend, you look wonderful!
    Linda H