Monday, November 19, 2012

My mind is ramblin...

My first running injury... No one should be surprised that I would trip and fall on one of my runs. What I am sure many are surprised about is that it took so long! Yes, I indeed fell on my run last week. I tripped over the uneven sidewalk and landed on my hands and knees. A few abrasions and bruises, nothing broken or sprained. I then got up and... ran another 1/2 mile or so. I know right?! I felt like I could do it, until it really started hurting. All in all I was lucky it wasn't worse.

Unfortunatly I was supposed to run a 5k on that Saturday. I was thinking I could up until the night before. I actually held some hope the day of, that I actually went and ran around my apartment building. But, to my disappointment, I decided to sit this one out. I still went to the race and felt left out, but was proud of my friends that ran the race.

So! I am back at it. I was on the elliptical tonight for 43 minutes and went 4 miles. My knee hurts a tish, but I need to get ready for Thursday. On Thursday I will be running in a 5 mile Turkey Trot! I had my heart set on this race so I am glad I rested on Saturday.

Now lets talk about feelings... I was so disappointed I wasn't going to be able to run. Those are some thoughts I NEVER thought I would have. I actually got teary eyed on Friday night and my poor friend had to talk me through it. (She went through the "omg I eat french fries" moment, so she is technically a pro now.) I am always afraid of disappointing. However, no one would expect me to run when I was hurt... so who was I trying to not disappoint?? It is that guilty feeling that comes about once in awhile. Feeling guilty over nothing... *sigh*

As much as those feelings can eat me up inside, they keep me accountable. One reason I know I won't go back to my old ways, is a fear of disappointing. Not the best motive, but hey I will take what I can get. I also know I will never go back to my old ways bc I never want to feel that bad again.

However, I do need to learn to cut myself some slack. Between apologizing for falling and ruining our run...(Yeah, I know! I did that multiple times) or apologize for having to walk for a few seconds, I need to realize it is perfectly OKAY to not be perfect at every second of the day. I am going to fall short and I can't act as if it is the end of the world. I KNOW I will brush myself off and get going again... so why do I put myself through those guilty feelings?

So I will end this with some of my favorite words... Ya gotta keep your head  up...

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry, did you just enter my mind and steal my thoughts? Lol, I so relate! I struggle with the same thing, even though I know that trying to be perfect all the time is exactly what led me to fail on my previous weight loss tries. Lifestyle changes like the ones we are going through are not about being perfect; they're about making healthy decisions most of the time and cutting yourself some slack the rest of the time. Easier said than done for perfectionists! Sometimes it's hard for me to find the balance between keeping myself accountable and cutting myself some slack when I need to. You are doing such a great job and are such an inspiration to people. I know you'll be back running in no time!