Why do I feel the need to put myself in these situations?? I know I will never know what I am capable of unless I try... but that gut wrenching feeling of trying something new is unbearable sometimes...
I agreed to do a Zombie Quarantine run next month. I don't do obstacle courses. At all. I am not a fan of the unknown and that is exactly what I got myself into. My friends (who I love dearly!) talked me into it... okay I was called a wuss and someone pulled the birthday card on me! I couldn't say no. So now I am freaking out.
I started running again after a 2 week break for heat/business. I was dumb and tried to do it w/o water tonight. NOT SMART. Calling myself out: I only did a 3.4 mile run and I had to walk a few times. I will get my shit together for the next run.
The fact that it is a team challenge is another added affect to this... what if I hold them back from having fun? If I can't do something, does that affect the team? I don't want others to be disappointed if I can't do something... I know I am the only one thinking these things... but I can't seem to help myself!
My freak outs come and go. One minute I know it will be fun and the next I am back in gym class trying (and failing) at jumping a hurdle and swinging on the rope during an obstacle course. Being the fat girl in gym class once again.
To some this isn't a big deal... to the girl that was over 300 lbs. (some forget that sometimes) it is a huge deal. It is just one more thing to conquer I guess.
I will put my big girl panties on and get this done... and quietly freak out before hand...
...and after you will look back and think about what an amazing time it was! :)
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