My Goal For The Rest Of The Year...

I am afraid to say this out loud for the fact that usually when I set my mind to something, I HAVE to do it. Well I am about  to throw the gauntlet down for my personal goal... Losing the rest of this weight BY THE END OF THE YEAR.

There. I said it.

I have had so many great moments, set backs and everything in between the last 2.5 years. I still can't believe it has been that long since I started this journey. I am seeing the light at the end of this long tunnel and I am antsy to get there. I don't want to go into 3 years. I sounds pouty, but I am so close. Less than 50 lbs. now.

The idea is to really keep that goal in mind. I set that one aside for the half marathon goal that I gave myself last year. That is all I thought about for over 7 months. Now I am ready for the next ultimate goal... my goal weight. I know I will be able to accomplish so much more once I really focus shedding the pounds and getting healthy.

My plan: Cardio and toning. I need to keep the cardio (running) going to burn those calories. I also need the weight lifting to build muscle. My fear of not lifting weights is that the pounds that I do lose will be muscle and not fat. If that happens, the excess skin that I do have will be even worse. I am already self conscious about that now! Also, having more muscle burns more calories in the long run. You look healthy on the outside as well as being healthy on the inside.

Keeping calories in check is the second part of my plan. This summer is filled with events and parties with all sorts of drinks and tasty treats. MODERATION is the key to the success of this plan. I can have my fun, but keep in mind what I am putting into my body.

So there we go, a goal is set with a plan. I just have to keep focused and know that I can succeed at this. I have always been stubborn and I hope that stubbornness shows in the next 6 months.

Keeping my head up and knowing I am a fighter.

A New Look and A New Beginning

As most of you can tell by now, there is a new look to my little blog. My fabulous friend Erin worked her magic and created something awesome. There are new tabs and new ways for me to share information on recipes, new progress pics and how far until I reach my goal. This new look to my blog is a new beginning of telling my story!

Since starting over with counting calories and really watching my portions, I have lost 3 lbs. since last Monday... 3! I know I am always saying this but... I had to get back to the basics. I strayed too far that time and now I am on track to losing these last lbs.

I have also delved deeper into the running world... I now know what shin splints feel like. OUCH! I did some interval running on the treadmill Tuesday morning. (yes you read that right A.M.) Ever since then my shins have been on fire. Stretching hasn't helped and I have tried icing a bit, but that hasn't done much. I think I will just have to wait it out, but I am getting sick of not running already!

As I stated above, I did have a morning workout this week. I think I wrote in a post a year or so ago how much I HATE a morning workout. However, with it being so hot at the end of the day, I am not getting the best workout. It wouldn't kill me to do it a few times a week... I guess. The reason why I gave up on morning  workouts before, was for the fact it was too easy to talk myself out of it! I was having to make myself get up early and hated every second. If you aren't liking something, it is sure hard to make a habit out of it!

So here I go and continue on my way. I have had a new burst of energy and I am closing in on that ultimate healthy lifestyle!

Can't Sleep...

So I thought I would blog my thoughts...

I had an "ah ha" moment last Thursday. I had upped my calorie intake when training for the half marathon bc of the amount of calories I was burning. I was training for 7 months for that race. That was 7 months of creating a habit of increased portions. After the race I got sick, wasn't able to run and I was still in the middle of a lot of over time at work. My world kept going... including my calorie intake. I didn't take a moment to change things back to how it was pre-training.

I have no idea why it just hit me now, but wow does that make sense! I started using Loseit.com again to help keep track of my calories. It is like I am starting over from scratch, but it is something that needs to be done. I even surprised myself at how many calories my breakfast was. Don't get me wrong, it is about 350 calories for my egg sandwich and coffee, but I had estimated less. That was when I knew I had strayed a little too far from my plan.

It makes total sense now of why I wasn't losing. I wasn't gaining, but I have made no progress to losing that last 50. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and re-think the situation. I was getting so frustrated but not really looking at how different my habits had become to when I first started. I know I have changed and learned a lot from day one, but it is always the same outline that I follow. Portion control and working out. Period.

Now that I am a few days in, it is strange, but I feel like "me" again. I am back in focus of my ultimate goal to get healthy. I am actually looking forward to weighing in tomorrow. I see the number on the scale has changed already. Just need to make it official. I still haven't picked out a big goal like the half marathon was. However, I think my goal right now is to live a healthy life and get the rest of this weight off. That is a pretty big goal to handle right now.

Sweet dreams.

It's The Little Big Things In Life...

It has been a crazy busy time around here between work projects and wedding/social gatherings! It has been busy, but I have been having a blast.

I just returned from my best friend's bachelor/bachelorette party. It was a huge success and such a great weekend. It is hard to get a large group of people together and have them all get along! It was great! It was a big weekend for me along with everything else. One might be surprised to know... I had a few Small Victories this weekend...

I spent the weekend in Wisconsin Dells... as in THE Wisconsin Dells that is the "water park capitol of the world."... as in I HAD TO WEAR A SWIMSUIT! I haven't worn a swimsuit in oh... 2 years? I got the cutest suit (on sale of course) and... wasn't sure how I was going to feel. I  brought shorts and a tank just in case.... well I didn't need it! I was comfortable in the suit and in how I felt in it. BIG step for me.

The second "small victory" that I had was the dress that I wore. I. Miss Holly Ann. Got a dress that was super stylish, super cute and in a regular size. BAM! :) I was so excited about the dress. I got to wear something like "normal" woman do. Sounds super weird... so let me explain... I always had to wear the sweater over the dress bc I was self conscious over my flabby arms, couldn't wear the cute styles with the empire waist bc of my stomach and I could never find anything like that in the plus size section. I felt hot in that dress...!

It was such a great weekend, but now I have 1 month to fit in that bridesmaid dress...!!! I still have about 1.5 inches to get zipped... it is a hot little number, short, pink and fabulous. I can't wait to wear it! I just have to make sure I am comfortable in it, so I need to get my ass in gear!

I had a GREAT workout tonight. Busted my butt and I did sweat it off. I had a great time working out (weird I know!) but I am so happy to get back into my routine.

Keep your head up and keep trucking along!

I NEED Routine...

I have had a really hard time to get back into my groove after having an upper respiratory infection. My schedule being all over the place and not having my routine has helped me stay unmotivated as well. I am not having my typical meals, working out right after work or even drinking the amount of water that I am used to. I have really realized how much routine is very very important to me.

I have gotten back into Insanity and have vowed to complete the workout. I am pretty good at keeping my goals when I set them. I only have 1 more week of my off schedule, then I should have my normal routine back. Excuses. I hate excuses, but at this point... it is what it is. I lost my motivation for a bit, but I am determined to get back.

I also had a realization this past weekend. I am still worrying about how my weight affects the activities that I do. Silly after running a half marathon. I still have this fear of being embarrassed and having people make fun of me. Just the thought of having to play a sport and/or run in front of people I didn't know... broke me and brought flashbacks of being the fat kid in gym class again. I remember praying that it would rain when it was an activity that was outside that I didn't want to do... like running the mile. The insecurities that I had back then... still hang around... which was a total shock to me.  I was still living off my half marathon and the things I have accomplished so far. I kind of realized now that I thought I "had this". I have done a lot true... but I am not done. I can't coast the last 50 lbs. off.

This opened my eyes and made me realize that I am not always going to be 100% positive and that I am not 100% confident. I will have my melt downs yet and my insecurities... thank goodness I have good people to bring me back to reality.

So after my emotional shock and currently watching my favorite show: Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition... I want my motivation back. I want my routine back. I want that fire back... I feel like I am getting back into that mentality and ready to do this!

"Do Epic Shit."

Derailed...

I have felt a little lost the past 2 weeks. The half marathon is over and I got sick with a cold almost directly after. I haven't worked out in 2 weeks... and that is so not like me!  Like normal with my cold, I get a URI and have issues with my asthma. That has kept me from running since the half. I know from experience the hardest thing to do is to get back into the normal workout routine.

I am feeling about 98% better today and am ready and determined to start back up again. I can't continue to not get my fitness on... it just puts me in a bad mood for one thing. The other reason, I only have 50 lbs. to go! I know I have said that in a couple posts. Reason being: I have been stuck and also the minor detail of... I haven't worked out in 2 weeks!

Routine is so important to me and this journey. I have been working different hours for a project at work and have been working longer days. I am traveling to another clinic for a few days next week and I am already having concerns about not being able/wanting to workout while I am there. I have a feeling once I get back to my normal schedule of work, gym and a healthy meal, things will go a lot better. At least I know that it is a huge concern for me and that I will NEVER fall back into my old ways just because of a little change.

So back at it I go. I so badly want to lose the rest of this 50 lbs. this year. I have some new ideas for fitness, but mainly I just want to get out there and run.

Keep your head up.

My First Half Marathon...

I did it! I completed my first half marathon! I finished in 2 hours and 59 minutes.

This day couldn't have been more perfect. The weather was cold and rain free. The friends I saw as I kept hitting each mile marker kept me going. My parents even came and surprised me at mile 7! At the finish line was where I really got my experience in... I turned my ipod off to take it all in. My friends and family cheering me in to the finish line... cheering to keep me pushing.

It was one of the hardest things that I have done so far. I pushed through the pain, pushed through the doubts and pushed through the mental games. I was never so happy to see a mile marker than I was when I saw that number 12. After mile 9 is where it got harder for me. My hip hurt like crazy and I was feeling sick. I kept going and kept pushing though, that is the most important part. Thank goodness for all the volunteers that kept up the encouraging words and cheering all the runners to keep going. I did ask one if it would be alright if I called a cab from mile 11... he said it probably wasn't the best idea.

At the finish line is what I will remember for the rest of my life... I turned my ipod off to take it all in. My friends and family cheering me in to the finish line... cheering to keep me pushing and to keep running. It is the most amazing experience to be running to the finish line of a race that you worked so hard to complete.

My parents brought me roses to congratulate me and even brought flowers for my training partner Jamie and my uncle John. They were so proud of everyone that ran and said over and over how proud they were of me. I loved seeing them at the 7 mile... I was disappointed when I thought they weren't coming and so happy to see them there. They had been planning on coming since the first day that I said I was going to run a half marathon. My grandma was nervous to talk to me because she thought she would let the surprise slip. Gotta love grandma!

I have the best friends in the world. Period. They support me and keep me going like none other. The ones that were physically at the race were there with  no hesitation. They wanted to be there to support me and have always been there. A couple of them attended my first 5k race less than a year ago again no question about it. They are some of my favorite people to see at the end of a big race!

Another friend gave me one of the best gifts... he gave me the most inspirational quotes I could have ever found. He made sure that I knew how awesome this day was going to be and how much I inspire others. He was right there at the finish line as well, again no hesitation.

The messages alone from the friends and family that couldn't be there was overwhelming. The encouragement, the inspiring words and the pure support that I got from them is priceless. The amazing card from my sister, the calls from friends, the facebook messages and even my grandparents and little brother called to wish me luck. I also received the sweetest card from someone I have actually never met in person. Kristen is on her own journey of a healthier lifestyle and she took a moment to wish me luck in a card. Our stories are so similar and I am very proud of how far she has come.

The friends that ran the half... are awesome! They are the ones that got me into running and the one that was sweating right along w/ me when we trained. It was a day for all of us to remember and I could not have asked for better people to run with.



My uncle John has supported me from day one and again had no hesitation to run w/ me. John and my aunt had to drive 2 hours to make it up here for the race. It is amazing to think that they were here right along with me and shared this experience. Couldn't think of a better way to hang out w/ my family!

I did it. It was fantastic and now I sit here and think... What's next? :)


** To some that don't know my past and how far I have come... they make think that I am making too much out of a race. The ones that really know where I started and how far I have come, they understand why this was such a huge moment in my life.