Looking into the past...

This is a picture of me from Dec. 2010 (ignore the date, the date on the picture it isn't correct)

I don't even have words to describe the feelings have right now looking at the person I used to be...







Me and my bro this year... Happy... that is the word I would use to describe the person in this picture...

5.5

MILES! That is how far I ran... Holy Crap! I am super pumped that I was able to finish that one tonight. It is always hardest the first time around. I did it in an hour and 9 minutes, *strutting around* damn right!

I was talking to my friend as we stretched and I was just in aw over running 5.5 miles. She asked me: "Remember when you could only run a block?". I DO! I do remember the day struggling to get to that next stop sign and how happy I was when I had ran 3 blocks... 3 blocks! Crazy to think back on that. Actually, just this last summer my goal was to run 1 lap around the track w/o stopping. So excited when I got to 2 laps and was ecstatic when I finally ran a mile. I also ran my first 5k ever only 3 months ago! I think what I am getting at is... you can achieve anything when you work for it. Do NOT give up on the things you want. It may take some time and hard work, but you will get there... I will get there. I have a 1/2 marathon to run!

So what if I may need some reminding sometimes and have my moments when I am pouting about getting stuck? It is all worth it. It is worth the tears, sweat, crazy thoughts, fear of gaining, the feeling of still being over weight, the hot air balloon rides and the fear of being picked on at the gym... It. Is. Worth it.

When you have your strength, will power and great friends and family by your side... I know I can do this and I know you can do whatever you set your mind to.

Keep your head up.

Feeling the big 3 letter F word...

Warning: I will be whining in this post.

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster of numbers on the scale. I got down to 195 and was super pumped... now I am at 197 and I am super pouty. I have started a new workout and have been trying to keep my food in check. However, it was 2 weekends of eating out and adult beverages, not the best combination to lose weight.

I am wanting to not be so obsessed with that number on the scale, but it seems the more I "try" the more obsessed I am over it. I am sick and tired of seeing 197 on that scale. I know in my heart that I will lose the weight eventually, but in my head... I want it gone now! :)

So here I sit feeling like I am still overweight at 197 (ridiculous I know and you can yell at me next time you see me.) and I don't know what to do. I even look at myself in the window when I walk across the sky walk at work and feel F*t.

My next step is to reel in my food choices once again and keep the calories in check. My fitness has changed recently so I am hoping that is still good to go for awhile. I have been through this before, but the same feelings of frustration just seem more powerful at the moment than my feelings of success.

End of pouting.

<Side note: I KNOW 2 lbs. is a stupid thing to be irritated with, but when you have been over 300 lbs. every lb. seems to be important. I will shake this,but needed to whine a bit. Thanks for reading!>